Dear Kids,
I want to begin by saying how truly sorry I am for how things have turned out. It pains me to know that our decision to part ways has broken the home and stability you once knew. While I believe this path is ultimately better for all of us, I understand from your words that you’d prefer the tension of living together over the challenges of being apart. You might not realize this, but I was struggling to breathe within the confines of our marriage, and now you have a mother who can truly live again. I regret that, at ages 7 and 10, you dream of having your mom and dad under one roof, and for that, I sincerely apologize.
I’m also sorry that you have to navigate between two homes. The packing for a weekend visit stresses me out, as I meticulously plan what to bring: clothes, electronics, and toiletries. Yet you handle the frequent transitions with such grace, never complaining even when you have to make do without something from the other house. I know moving back and forth is exhausting, and I am the one who created this situation.
It breaks my heart that you will have to face the awkwardness of seeing your dad and me with new partners. I genuinely hope it teaches you about healthy relationships, but I understand that seeing your parents affectionate with someone else can feel uncomfortable. Even though we strive to keep you out of our conflicts, your reality sometimes thrusts you right into the middle of it. If you enjoy a fun day with Dad, I’m thrilled for you, but I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness when you say, “No offense, Mom, but I had the best time with Dad.” I never take offense, but I worry that you might feel guilty for enjoying those moments.
I regret that you sometimes miss me at bedtime, feel lonely in your new space, and have to constantly think about whose house you’ll be at tonight. Explaining to friends that you have two homes and figuring out how to describe our significant others is tough. Holidays, which should be joyful, are now split between two families, and I’m sorry you have to act as our messenger, relaying updates. You’re children, not messengers, and I know it must feel unfair to have to miss out on time with one parent simply because of the day of the week. When you went to bed on your 10th birthday, tears in your eyes as you told me you had to wait a whole year for a dinner with just your dad, sister, and me, I felt a pain deeper than I can express.
Most of all, I’m sorry that I’ve never experienced divorce myself. I understand what it feels like to be left out, lonely, or to wish for things I can’t have. I can empathize with feelings of insecurity and the desire for more freedom. However, I cannot fully grasp the unique pain that comes from being a child of divorce. I’m committed to walking alongside you on your journey, but I recognize that I can’t truly know the hurt I have caused. Simply saying “sorry” seems inadequate for the weight of my feelings.
I hold onto hope that this challenging experience will be a small part of your lives and that the roads ahead will be smoother. Life is full of struggles, but within those challenges, there are countless lessons to be learned. While they may not stand out immediately, they will weave into the fabric of who you become. You will grow to be compassionate and adaptable, with a world view far more expansive than mine was at your age. Seeing your dad and me as individuals, rather than just your parents, will serve you well in life.
My love for you is stronger than my guilt. While I deeply regret the difficulties divorce brings you, I am steadfast in my belief that this was the best decision for all of us.
But still, I’m so very sorry.
For further support and insights, you might find helpful information in our other blog posts, such as how to navigate fertility challenges in your journey by visiting Make a Mom. Additionally, for those expecting, March of Dimes provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
In this heartfelt letter, Jenna expresses her deep apologies to her children for the challenges brought about by her divorce. She reflects on the impact of their family separation, the transitions between homes, and the emotional complexities they face. Jenna acknowledges the lessons that can arise from their experiences and emphasizes her unwavering love and commitment to their well-being, while also recognizing the pain she cannot fully understand.
Keyphrase: Apology to my kids for divorce
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