In the vast expanse of the internet, people often feel emboldened to share opinions on topics they may not fully understand. All it takes is one innocuous remark on a mutual friend’s social media post to ignite a wave of judgment. To all the online critics, I say this: I refuse to accept your shame.
I’ll be having a scheduled C-section for my upcoming baby, just like I did for my first. And you know what? That doesn’t make me any less of a good mother. Some mothers opt for a C-section for various reasons, and while it’s true that the C-section rates are high, it’s important to remember that everyone has their own story, and it’s not our place to judge.
My Journey
Let me share my journey. With my first child, I presented a detailed birth plan to my OB during my 35-week appointment, envisioning a natural birth with minimal intervention. However, the ultrasound revealed that my son, Leo, was not only breech but also in a position that made delivery impossible. He was essentially stuck, with his little bottom wedged by my hip. I tried everything – even laying on an ironing board with my legs in the air and a bag of frozen peas on my belly to encourage him to turn. Alas, he was simply too cramped to move.
I’ll never forget the somber expression on my doctor’s face as she delivered the news: “I don’t think you’ll get the birth you hoped for; we need to proceed with a C-section.” Zach and I took a breath of relief upon hearing that our baby was safe, even if it meant a change of plans. The experience was intense—like the final scenes of an epic film, with nurses working tirelessly to help bring my little boy into the world.
Yet, despite the struggles we faced, the internet judges. You might think it’s easy for a doctor to suggest a C-section without understanding the complexities involved. When Zach asked what would have happened to us in earlier times, our doctor quietly responded, “They both would have died in labor.” But all you see is a scheduled C-section, and you make assumptions.
Second Pregnancy
For my second pregnancy, I went into labor at 29 weeks. After a rollercoaster of hospital visits, bed rest, and medications to stop contractions, my water broke at 36 weeks. My medical team supported my wish to attempt a VBAC, but when our baby began showing signs of distress, we made the difficult decision to proceed with another C-section.
Now, with another child on the way, I have come to terms with my past experiences. I’ve had two C-sections, one with a vertical incision and the other with a horizontal cut. The risk of complications from a VBAC is not worth it to me. I have two precious boys who need their mom, and a baby girl who deserves to be born safely. I don’t think she cares about the method of her arrival, just that she gets here.
Rejecting Shame
So, internet, I reject your shame. You can keep it. I wouldn’t even be here to care for my children if it weren’t for that timely scheduled C-section when my contractions were just two minutes apart with Leo. We can never know the reasons behind someone’s C-section, and it’s not our business. The only appropriate response is to celebrate that both mom and baby are healthy and thriving.
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In summary, every mother’s journey is unique, and we should embrace each other’s choices with kindness and understanding, rather than judgment.
Keyphrase: C-section experience and motherhood
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