Recently, while picking up my son from preschool, a curious little girl approached me, tugging on my sweater. With my son, Max, standing nearby, she asked innocently, “Where’s Max’s daddy?” Without hesitation, I smiled and replied, “He doesn’t have a daddy.” The girl paused, trying to wrap her mind around this concept. Just as I was about to grab Max’s lunchbox and make a quick exit to avoid more questions, she asked, “Did his daddy die?”
“No,” I clarified. “Max simply doesn’t have a daddy. Some families have both mommies and daddies, while others have just mommies, just daddies, or even grandparents. Max has a mommy and a sister, and that’s his family.”
My explanation seemed to confuse her even more, as she squished her face into a look of bewilderment and started with a “But…” Just then, Max chimed in, “I tried a new food today, Mom! Can we go to Target?” Totally unfazed by the earlier conversation, he was ready for a celebratory trip for trying diced pears. High five!
At this stage, my son understands our unique family dynamic. Since he was old enough to ask questions, I’ve lovingly told him that he simply doesn’t have a dad, and he’s perfectly fine with that. In fact, he’s more than fine—Max is a joyful, brilliant, kind-hearted little guy who loves monster trucks, video games, and playing soccer. He’s five years old, and he’s never met his “dad.”
The reasons behind our situation aren’t relevant now; they are part of my past. I don’t dwell on them or feel victimized. Honestly, I find great joy in being a single parent and believe that my choice to raise him solo was the best for both of us. Sure, juggling a full-time job and parenting can be exhausting and occasionally financially stressful, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything—except maybe fewer gray hairs; thankfully, there’s great boxed hair color available!
As Father’s Day approaches, I prepare to celebrate the special men in my life, including my father, my late grandfather (who inspired my son’s name), and my brother-in-law. While I may be a mom, I also take on roles traditionally associated with dads. I embrace being both the nurturing parent and the adventurous one who takes Max to monster truck shows while teaching him everything from manners to how to pee standing up. I’m the one who comforts him during doctor visits and encourages him to be brave when he falls off his bike. It’s a fulfilling dual role without the creepy split-personality aspect.
Each year, as Father’s Day nears, I have “the talk” with Max’s teacher about class projects designed for dads. I explain that I will be attending the breakfast for dads, and perhaps Max can create gifts for his grandpa, uncle, or even for me. If I’m lucky, I’ll receive a handmade treasure to add to my collection, right next to the charming purple jewelry box he crafted for Mother’s Day.
This piece is dedicated to all the incredible single moms out there, as well as the hardworking moms who often cover both parental roles. And let’s not forget the solo dads who deserve recognition on Mother’s Day too! Perhaps it’s time to rethink these celebrations and combine them into a Parent’s Day, celebrated twice a year for good measure—a perfect excuse for brunch!
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In summary, let’s celebrate the diverse family structures that exist today. Single moms and dads, along with co-parents and guardians, all contribute uniquely to raising happy, healthy children.
Keyphrase: Single Moms on Father’s Day
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