Parenting
Updated: Jan. 13, 2016
Originally Published: May 23, 2014
“Hey, Mom. My buddy, Max, has autism,” my ten-year-old son, Leo, declared one sunny afternoon. We had just finished picking strawberries, and I glanced over at my five-year-old, who was attempting to see if one of the squishy, red fruits would fit in his ear, and then back to Leo.
“I understand why you might think that,” I replied thoughtfully. “But Max hasn’t been diagnosed with autism.”
“Who else has it? Who else?” Leo pressed, his curiosity evident.
What do I say? I could dive into the statistics, explaining, “You see, Leo, one in every eighty-eight kids is diagnosed, which means there are countless individuals like you—those who see colors in days of the week and recall exactly what their doctor wore six months ago.”
But I knew that wouldn’t resonate with him.
Instead, I try to emphasize the brighter sides of autism—the incredible memory, the kindness, the determination, and the progress. Yet, it does little to ease the stark loneliness he feels as the only one in our family, in his classroom, perhaps even in the whole world, diagnosed with a spectrum disorder.
It feels like I’m saying this:
“Leo, you’re a dazzling unicorn among ordinary horses. You are truly remarkable! We know there are many others out there—millions even—but we just can’t seem to find them. Oh, and our magical unicorn? We don’t completely understand you. Your vibrant nature dazzles us, yet your outbursts can be quite frightening. Maybe it would be simpler if you were just an everyday horse like the rest of us, so we could teach you math.”
When I began writing my blog, I didn’t have a clear purpose. Over two years later, I realize I was seeking connection, a way to express my heartache, share my humor, and link up with others navigating the delicate balance of autism, parenting, and everyday life. If a sprinkle of autism awareness came from it, that was just a bonus.
But deep down, I felt I had failed. While I connected with a broader community, the boy in the next room—the one with autism—still felt lost, scared, and ashamed. He felt isolated.
So, I turned to my readers on social media, asking them to help show my son that, yes, there are countless others just like him—people who create beautiful music, hold jobs, love movies, and indulge in ice cream after dinner. The response was overwhelming.
“Hi, Leo! This is my son, also named Leo. He has autism and is seven years old. Although his social skills are considered ‘very poor,’ his ability to light up a room is unmatched. You’re not alone, my friend.”
“Hey, Leo! My grandson is 15 and has autism. He is the unique unicorn in my life.”
I saw Leo reflected in those messages. I saw myself. I absorbed the hope, the encouragement, the shared pain and love.
“I have a 14-year-old son with autism. As a dad, I longed to teach him sports, but what I can do is cherish his brilliant mind, his humor, and his loving nature. My job is to ensure Vinny lives his best life.”
Old high school friends reached out. Past colleagues checked in, and one mother shared her quiet child’s radiant smile.
“Hi Leo, my son has autism. He is six and doesn’t speak but has a smile that lights up a room… just like yours.”
Teachers from across the nation chimed in. “I’ve taught many students with autism, and each one has impacted my life.”
Minnesota, New Jersey, Oregon, Illinois, San Diego, California.
“Hey Leo! I have two sons with autism. They’re 13 and live in Iowa. One loves swimming and elevators, while the other has an incredible memory and sings with perfect pitch.”
One evening, as we dined at our favorite Mexican restaurant, we read a message from a family in the Netherlands together. Jack’s face brightened, and he exclaimed, “Amsterdam is the capital of the Netherlands!”
“My younger son is eight and loves soccer and Minecraft. He’s kind, loving, and so much fun! You are not alone!”
Many shared their personal stories with courage. “I have autism and a successful life. I’ve faced challenges, but at 25, I’ve achieved much and embraced who I am. He’s definitely not alone.”
Throughout the week, Leo eagerly asked for my phone to read the comments. Every time, his face would glow. “My wonderful 11-year-old has Autism and ADHD; she too feels alone, even in crowds.”
I’ve learned that autism casts a broad, unpredictable net. Sometimes it catches more than one from a family; other times, it’s a solitary catch.
“I have not just one but two amazing boys on the spectrum. Autism is just one facet of who they are, like having brown eyes or freckles.”
One morning, while I was reading emails, Leo hovered over my shoulder, hoping for screen time. But again, he got caught up in the Facebook thread, engrossed by the photos and descriptions of kids, students, and friends.
Then he paused. “Joe. Thompson,” he murmured. “That’s Dad.”
I squinted at the bottom of the thread and saw, “Hi Leo. My son has autism, and I’ve loved him since the day he was born.”
I once thought a million was just a whimsical figure to capture the volume of responses to my blog. But I was mistaken—it’s not merely a number.
A million embodies confusion, fear, and golden retrievers named Sparky. It includes boys from Michigan, girls from Utah, and a 13-year-old with perfect pitch. It represents anger, disappointment, grace, and unity as we face the struggles of autism together, night after night.
A million can be the laughter of two brothers sliding down the slippery slope of autism beneath a radiant blue sky.
This article was originally published on May 23, 2014.
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Summary:
This heartfelt blog post captures a mother’s experience with her son Leo, who has autism. As she navigates his feelings of isolation and confusion, she seeks to connect him with others who share similar experiences. Through social media outreach, the mother discovers a supportive community that reassures Leo he is far from alone. The narrative beautifully illustrates the complexities of autism, highlighting both the challenges and the unique gifts that come with it.
Keyphrase: Autism Community
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