5 Things Your Middle Schooler Is Up To Right Now

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As a middle school educator, let me assure you that today’s preteens are navigating the same awkward terrain that you once traversed. While you may have shoved those memories into the far recesses of your mind, it’s time for a refresher on the five key pursuits of the modern middle schooler.

1. Discovering Disturbing and Intriguing Facts About Relationships

Gone are the days when playground gossip was purely innocent. Now, middle schoolers are exposed to more mature content in movies, spend unsupervised time online, and often hear tales from older siblings. Their conversations about relationships and intimacy are imbued with a strange sense of credibility. I vividly recall a sleepover chat where I encountered the term “oral sex” for the first time. My friends and I were still trying to figure out how to catch a boy’s attention, but this revelation was utterly shocking. So, as a parent, be mindful—steer clear of any conversations that might hint at intimacy; they’re already grappling with enough confusion.

2. Experiencing Intense Romantic Obsessions

Middle school crushes are famously fleeting but incredibly intense. Your child’s admiration may be directed at someone they’ve never even spoken to, or perhaps someone you wish they wouldn’t idolize. The emotional rollercoaster of a crush defines this stage of life. In my seventh grade, I found myself enamored with a boy who was the quintessential ‘bad boy’—smoking behind the bowling alley while I watched from afar, heart racing to the tune of Def Leppard. It’s a time of longing and confusion, where the stakes feel impossibly high. There’s not much you can do to influence their romantic pursuits, but remember this: it’s a natural part of growing up.

3. Dealing With Awkward Physical Changes

Middle school is a time of myriad physical changes and calamities. From acne and braces to awkward locker room experiences, the challenges are plentiful. I remember my own fashion faux pas vividly; my sixth-grade self thought a giant bow and silver shoes were the epitome of style. Each year was a new adventure in fashion disasters, from mismatched socks to bizarre outfit choices meant to fit in. As a parent, your role here is to let your child express themselves, even if it means walking a few steps behind them in the mall—trust me, that’s what they want.

4. Navigating a Complex Social Landscape

Middle school is a battleground of social hierarchies, where your child may be facing threats of exclusion or, conversely, engaging in the exclusion of others. The unspoken rules of social acceptance can be overwhelming, and kids often feel pressured to conform and blend in. I faced my fair share of intimidation in seventh grade, including threats from a girl nicknamed “Boulder,” who seemed to take joy in my discomfort. Kids today navigate a similar minefield, trying to balance social approval with their own identities. As a parent, be mindful of the pressures they face, and offer support without adding to their stress.

5. Worrying About Fitting In

This is where you can make a significant difference as a parent. Middle schoolers need to hear that they are okay, and that it’s normal to feel out of place at times. Your reassurance can be a lifeline in their tumultuous world. Remind them that it’s all going to be alright, even when it feels chaotic. Offer your support liberally, but steer clear of delicate topics like relationships—that’s just not cool.

In summary, the middle school journey is fraught with challenges as kids navigate relationships, social dynamics, and their own identities. As you guide them through this phase, remember to provide reassurance and understanding while letting them discover who they are.

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