As a parent of three—an infant, a five-year-old, and a seven-year-old—I adore my children, but let’s get real: parenting can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Non-parents often approach me with questions about raising kids. While their intentions are good, I can’t help but feel a bit exasperated after hearing the same queries time and again. So, let’s clarify a few things…
- “How do you juggle three kids?” What kind of answer are you looking for? Should I confess that there are days I feel like I’m drowning? The transition from two to three felt like being tossed a baby while I was already treading water. Honestly, managing them is a challenge. If you’re searching for a profound answer, well, here it is: not very well.
- “Do your kids ever argue?” Really? Did you not have squabbles with your siblings? Of course they fight! Just last week, I had to intervene in a wrestling match over whether my daughter could smell my son’s fart. Yes, they bicker over everything—even string cheese. When they’re not at each other’s throats, I assume they’re scheming something, probably a heist.
- “Did you catch last night’s episode of Parks and Recreation?” While it may seem unrelated to the kids, I no longer control the remote. Last night’s viewing consisted of Yo-Gabba-Gabba and Pokémon. If it’s not animated or doesn’t involve a puppet, chances are I haven’t seen it.
- “Why are your eyes so bloodshot? Did the kids keep you up?” Absolutely! I spent two hours last night dealing with wet sheets and hunting for Bun Bun. Honestly, if a parent looks exhausted, it’s safe to assume their kids are to blame.
- “Do your kids ever talk back?” Oh sure, they’re little angels who only speak in pleases and thank you’s—NOT! My five-year-old princess called me a “fart-face” because I wouldn’t let her watch Netflix. And my seven-year-old told my wife she “sucked” for not giving him an ice cream sandwich. I didn’t teach them that language, but here we are.
- “What’s that white stuff on your shirt?” Puke—it’s always puke. If it’s not white, it’s probably something worse. I have a baby, so get used to it.
- “I bet your home is filled with love, right?” Sure, love is there, but so are all sorts of unidentifiable messes. My house often smells odd, and the table is perpetually sticky. However, when my seven-year-old leaps into my arms after a long day, or my five-year-old shows off a dance, it makes it all worthwhile. And yes, the baby squealing is simply adorable.
What absurd questions have you encountered in your parenting journey?
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In summary, parenting can be a chaotic, messy, and sometimes irritating experience. The questions from non-parents can often miss the mark, but at the end of the day, it’s filled with love and laughter, even amidst the craziness.
Keyphrase: Parenting questions
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