Ah, the days of my pre-baby body—when I could effortlessly stay up late and sneeze without worrying about wardrobe malfunctions. Those were the times! During my pregnancy, I did everything possible to maintain my pre-baby physique. I diligently performed pelvic exercises, slathered on oils to ward off stretch marks, ate healthily (mostly), and exercised regularly to keep weight gain in check. I even invested in specialty bras that promised to keep everything “perky.”
While some of my efforts paid off, there were significant changes I had to say goodbye to. With my two boys seemingly inheriting the traits of Bigfoot, my petite frame took quite a toll. My once-celebrated chest has now transformed into what resembles two oversized bags of milk, and let me tell you, they won’t even make an appearance in a dark room any time soon.
Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we?
- Breasts: Every mom I chat with laments the loss of her pre-baby or pregnancy boobs. Post-baby, they either become overly large or shrivel into little raisins. Why can’t we find a happy medium? Instead, we’re left with deflated balloon-like shapes that look like they’ve been sunbathing without sunscreen for days.
- Nipples: What used to be cute is now akin to giant flying saucers. If you’re nursing, you’ve likely lost all sensation as well. Fantastic, right?
- Bladder: Remember when I could hold it in all day while juggling work? Now, my bladder calls the shots. The phrase “go time” has taken on a whole new meaning. Sneezing, laughing, or even coughing often leads to a silent plea to the bladder gods—this is a common complaint among my mom friends.
- Hair: If you once had luscious locks, be warned. My glorious mane has diminished to feathered wisps after months of shedding. I’d fit right into an ’80s music video!
- Rear End: My backside seems to have merged with my legs during my last pregnancy. A few thousand squats could fix that—but let’s be real, who has time for that as a busy mom?
- Feet: With so many changes to my body, you’d think my feet would escape unscathed. Nope! They grew a half size and never returned to normal. Goodbye to all those adorable heels I splurged on!
- Mind: Here’s a riddle: How can I recall my childhood phone number but forget where I put my phone and keys daily? My memory has taken a nosedive since becoming a parent—seriously!
- Stomach: I never had washboard abs to begin with, but these days I resemble someone who just completed a burrito-eating contest daily.
Was it all worth it? Absolutely. Would I do it again for my kids? Without a doubt. However, wouldn’t it be nice to wear a beautiful dress without needing Spanx or to jump rope with my kids without worrying about accidents? I think we all know the answer.
If you’re interested in furthering your journey toward parenthood, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. Also, for couples seeking guidance, this authority on the topic might be helpful. And if you’re looking to boost fertility for men, don’t miss this informative post.
Summary
Navigating the changes post-baby can be a challenge, from altered physical features to memory lapses. While the sacrifices might be hefty, the joy of motherhood makes it all worthwhile.
Keyphrase: pre-baby body changes
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]