In a quaint private school, my daughter, Emma, navigates the complexities of 7th grade with a mix of excitement and trepidation. Having known many of her classmates since kindergarten, the dynamics can be a bit tangled. While outright bullying is rare, the subtle jabs and snarky comments can be just as damaging.
At the start of the school year, Emma began sharing some of the remarks flying around her class, particularly among the girls. They often sound like this:
- “Are those leggings really your choice?”
- “What’s up with your hair? Just, no.”
- “Is that a smell? Don’t you use deodorant? Gross.”
These comments, uttered in a mocking tone and within earshot of others, occur in various settings—classroom chaos before the bell, hallways bustling between classes, or during lunchtime. It’s one thing to be publicly critiqued about personal choices, but what truly breaks my heart is that some of those making these comments are considered friends by Emma.
This situation makes me question: do our girls truly grasp the essence of friendship?
I recall the days of Emma’s early playdates when I helped her navigate disputes over toys. We practiced turn-taking and discussed feelings when unkind words were spoken. Those interactions were straightforward—two hours without screens, just Goldfish crackers and giggles, ending with hugs goodbye. Simple and effective.
Fast forward to now, and Emma’s social interactions have evolved. She and her friends prefer hanging out at local cafés or retreating to her room, sharing snippets of their lives through Instagram, Snapchat, and a flurry of texts filled with emojis and abbreviations. As a parent, I often find myself on the sidelines—available but rarely consulted. I feel the urge to step back into the fray of their social lives, especially as they face the challenges of middle school.
This phase of life brings a whirlwind of changes—acne, body changes, crushes, school dances, and the constant pressure of social media. Emma has a supportive home environment, but she increasingly looks to her peers for guidance as she tries to understand who she is amidst this chaos. Hearing about the lack of kindness among her classmates compels me to re-enter the conversation about friendship—even if it feels awkward.
Teaching our daughters to avoid bullying and to speak out against unkindness is essential, but we must also encourage them to uplift one another daily. A true friend offers support rather than succumbing to jealousy. She celebrates your achievements, shares constructive feedback privately, and listens with empathy. Competition should inspire rather than belittle; confidence should flourish through mutual respect. In genuine friendships, compassion triumphs over judgment, and our girls should aspire to this standard.
While this behavior may seem typical for their age, it doesn’t excuse it. I’m aware that Emma, too, has made thoughtless remarks at times. I don’t expect her to be friends with everyone, but I instill in her the importance of kindness. If she can’t say something nice, then silence is golden. My goal is for her to understand how to cultivate genuine friendships, recognize healthy connections, and disengage from those who undermine her confidence.
Girls shouldn’t feel the need to tear each other down—there are plenty of others who will do that for them. Instead, I want to inspire Emma and her friends to be each other’s greatest supporters, embracing the beauty of friendship through compassion. For those exploring ways to enhance their family journey, check out this fertility booster for men, as well as this at-home insemination kit that provides valuable insights. Additionally, for more information on insemination methods, consider this excellent resource on IUI.
Summary:
As our daughters navigate the complexities of friendship in middle school, it’s crucial to teach them the importance of kindness, support, and understanding. By fostering genuine connections and encouraging compassion, we can help them build strong, uplifting relationships.
Keyphrase: Understanding friendship among girls
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