You’ve seen them, you’ve heard them, and maybe you’ve even been one: the overbearing sports parent. Many of us have had our moments of frustration—perhaps you’ve confronted a coach or yelled something you later regretted. But for the sake of your child and your own sanity, it’s crucial to steer clear of the type of parent that everyone dreads. Here’s how to keep your cool:
- Keep It Fun: Remember, youth sports are about enjoyment, not million-dollar contracts. The kids are (insert age here), not professionals, so it’s essential to maintain a light-hearted atmosphere.
- Reality Check: Your child is unlikely to land a spot in the NFL, NHL, or NBA. Forcing them to train relentlessly won’t create a superstar; it could lead to burnout. So let them play for the love of the game, not your dreams.
- Stay Calm with Officials: Avoid arguments—physical or verbal—with referees or other parents. Getting into a spat can lead to ejection from the venue, embarrassment, or worse. Trust me, nobody wants to be that parent caught on video losing it at a youth game.
- Trust the Coach: Coaches have their methods; unless they’re using extreme language (yes, we’ve encountered that), let them handle the game. If you have concerns, wait 24 hours to discuss them calmly. Yelling at someone right after a tough loss won’t win you any points.
- Know Your Role: You are not the coach. Shouting instructions or waving your arms only confuses your child. They may not even hear you, so let them focus on the game without your distraction.
- Gossip-Free Zone: Leave the drama to the high school kids. Badmouthing other children or parents is unclassy and can backfire if your child ends up on the same team next season.
- Choose Your Audience Wisely: If you need to vent, do it away from your child. They might pick up your negative comments and share them with teammates, creating an awkward situation.
- Limit Post-Game Analysis: Don’t dissect every play with your child. A coach once advised me to let my daughter express herself for five minutes after a game; after that, we’d drop the subject. If she wants silence, that’s perfectly fine too.
- Encouragement Over Criticism: Instead of critiquing, focus on positive phrases. Saying, “I love to watch you play,” can be powerful. If that feels too sentimental, simpler phrases like “work hard” or “have fun” do the trick.
- Let Them Choose: If your child wants to quit, respect their decision. It can be hard, especially for parents who want to relive their athletic glory through their kids. I’ve instituted a one-season commitment rule: finish the season, then reevaluate.
While I could add nitty-gritty details—like don’t forget the snacks if it’s your turn or leave the cowbell at home—these are minor compared to the larger issues. Forgetting bananas is forgivable; losing your temper at a game is not.
And just a quick note: during playoffs, all bets are off!