By: Jamie Rivers
Updated: Aug. 21, 2015
Originally Published: Dec. 19, 2013
When I tell people I’m the mother of five children, I often get a stunned look as if I’ve just confessed to a shocking crime. There’s definitely a stereotype surrounding large families—by which I mean, an entire squad of kiddos. Society seems to agree that three is the magic number for a family, unless you belong to certain communities like the Duggars or are of Jewish descent. Anything above that threshold typically elicits puzzled, sympathetic expressions. Just the other day, someone actually told me, “I’m so sorry,” as if I had just revealed a chronic illness.
What many don’t realize is that once you surpass the magical number of three, the chaos just becomes part of the norm. It’s like adding kale to your smoothie; you barely notice it! I remember feeling overwhelmed with just two rambunctious boys compared to the fun chaos I have now with five. Sure, it’s a circus, but it’s a blast! We might not juggle knives or feed wild animals in the yard, but it’s definitely more entertaining than you’d think.
So, how do you survive raising a small army? Here are 10 essential tips:
- Name Tags Are Your Best Friends: With so many kids, it’s easy to mix them up. Consider giving them name tags or using a Sharpie. Trust me, it’ll save you from the madness of calling out the wrong names!
- Stock Up on Ramen Noodles: Feeding a small army isn’t cheap! Ramen noodles are your budget-friendly savior at just a dime each!
- Choose Your Battles Wisely: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Minor skirmishes among siblings? Let them be! Unless there’s blood, let them work it out. A little roughhousing never hurt anyone.
- Laundry Is Your Arch-Nemesis: If it doesn’t smell like a barn or have visible stains, let them wear it again. AXE, perfume, Glade spray—all great for masking yesterday’s spills!
- The Power of Your Finger: When your kids are all clamoring for your attention at once, just raise a finger like a traffic cop. They’ll be so confused they might just go quiet!
- Say Goodbye to Sports Cars: With all these kids, you’ll be trading in your sleek ride for a minivan—or even a short bus! It doubles as an RV for spontaneous family outings.
- Shower Time Is a Race Against Time: Showering with multiple children is tricky. You’ll have mere seconds before they burst in—try using a garden hose for a quick rinse if all else fails!
- The Assembly Line for Diaper Duty: If you’ve got a few in diapers, lay them down in a row and tackle the changing process together. Fast and efficient!
- Duct Tape Is a Lifesaver: It can secure diapers, fix broken toys, and even serve as a deterrent for misbehavior. Just keep it out of reach of their mouths!
- Sometimes You Just Need a Break: When the madness becomes too overwhelming, it’s okay to step back. Go for a drive, enjoy a glass of wine, and recharge!
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In summary, managing a larger family may come with its challenges, but it’s also filled with joy and laughter. Embrace the chaos and find the humor in the journey!