Updated: March 9, 2017
Originally Published: Dec. 8, 2013
On a fateful day, 5/30/14, I received a diagnosis of Stage 4 lung cancer. The prognosis wasn’t good; most people in my situation have around a year left. Treatments now focus on making that time more manageable, with some potential options for experimental therapies on the horizon. While I remain hopeful, I also have a clear understanding of my reality.
Rewind to summer 2010 at Lakeview Beach, a time when everyone else was relishing the sun and sand. My family and friends were building sandcastles and frolicking in the waves, while I was stuck in my head, overwhelmed by unread emails and unwritten blog ideas. I tried to enjoy the moment, but it was evident to everyone that I was far from relaxed.
It wasn’t until the drive home that a profound realization hit me. I had been unknowingly living one of life’s greatest tragedies: I was in the midst of a joyful moment, yet I couldn’t see it. That day marked a turning point. I chose to embrace the goodness around me, and from that decision onward, I subconsciously repeated this belief. This shift transformed my existence from a living Hell—always feeling behind, discontent, and unfulfilled—to a living Heaven, where I began to appreciate what I had, despite wanting more.
Finding Heaven in Everyday Moments
I believe that Heaven can be found on Earth, and it exists wherever you seek it. Here are some places I discovered it:
- I found Heaven during long drives with my kids. Instead of dreading our daily school commutes, I used that time to connect with them—discussing their worlds, sharing music, and even creating our own tunes together.
- I also discovered Heaven on the worn-out floor of a basketball court. My then two-year-old daughter and I spent endless hours waiting for her brother to finish school. Those afternoons were special; we shared lunches, played imaginary games, and laughed while rolling a ball back and forth on the court. She called our game “Going to the Birthday Party,” a simple yet magical creation that still warms my heart.
Life’s sweetness, however, comes with its own set of challenges. We moved into a new home in March, which is a dream come true. It’s where my kids will grow up, and while that brings joy, it also breaks my heart. I’m not worried about myself; I’ve lived a fulfilling life. What I long for is to witness my children grow. They are my greatest pride—two wonderful, happy kids, and the thought of them growing up without me is a heavy burden.
I want them to be joyful and to remember me, not as a distant figure, but as a constant presence in their lives. I hope for their happiness, just as I wish for my partner, Lisa, to find joy. She deserves it more than anyone, and I wish I could provide that for her now.
Acceptance and sadness can coexist. I understand that life is finite, and I accept that my time is limited. I embrace the gift of life and recognize the likelihood that I won’t witness my children grow up into adulthood.
Should I lament my fate? Should I question, “Why me?” Or should I acknowledge that, in this moment—confused, weary, and a bit sad—I am experiencing one of the greatest joys of life?
The future of my health remains uncertain, but one thing is clear: I am truly fortunate to have experienced love from those close to me—a wife I cherish and two kids who inspire me daily.
A Request for Understanding
I have one request for you: my daughter, Mia, tends to be shy. You may notice her playing alone at times, and while it’s tempting to think she’s content, reach out to her. Include her in your games. And my son, Jake, is incredibly sensitive. Every word you say matters to him. Please be kind and patient with him; he’s a brilliant kid who deserves your respect.
As for Lisa, she’s a powerhouse at work but needs a break at home. Encourage her to enjoy life, help her unwind, and remember she’s more than just a label. She’s the kind of mother every child dreams of and a partner I adore.
In March 2015, Jordan Smith passed away from terminal lung cancer at the age of 42.
If you’re interested in learning more about parenting and home insemination, check out our post on the Home Insemination Kit for insightful information. For those seeking guidance on pregnancy, the World Health Organization is an excellent resource.
Summary
This piece reflects on the joys and challenges of life, particularly from the perspective of a father facing terminal illness. It emphasizes the importance of cherishing everyday moments with family and the profound impact of acceptance and gratitude. The author shares heartfelt anecdotes about his children and partner, urging readers to appreciate their loved ones fully.
Keyphrase: Life Lessons from Terminal Illness
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