I strolled into Little League with my four energetic kids, asking the coach when practices would be held. As the mom who usually has no clue about such details until the season starts, I was eager to know. “Wednesday nights,” he replied.
“Wednesday nights?” I echoed. “You won’t see me then; it’s date night. You’ll be seeing Mark, our babysitter.”
“This week?” he asked, looking puzzled.
“Nope,” I said. “I mean every week. Wednesday night is reserved for date night, consistently.”
“Seriously?! That sounds nice,” he quipped with a hint of sarcasm.
“Well, it’s a whole lot nicer than divorce,” I shot back. And it truly is.
Scheduling a date night can seem like an extravagant endeavor. It involves hiring a babysitter, applying some makeup, and changing into something that isn’t stained with whatever my kids had for lunch. It’s a bit of a workout, I’ll admit. Plus, it requires both you and your partner to identify a common night free from work, school drop-offs, or mountains of laundry—no small feat. And let’s not forget the costs: dining out means spending money on meals you could have enjoyed at home, plus the babysitter’s fees. But in my opinion, it’s a lot cheaper than the alternative—divorce.
For me, date night represents something special in my marriage. Fifteen years ago, I married a guy I genuinely liked. We met in art school, for crying out loud! Back in those carefree days, we would pack a loaf of bread, a block of cheese, and a bottle of wine, then hike to a secluded beach to sip wine and share our dreams. Those were the days.
But then we became parents, and with that came responsibilities. We juggle jobs, maintain a household, and raise our four little ones. Life has changed us; we are aging, busy, and perhaps a bit too familiar with each other’s quirks (yes, we might leave the bathroom door ajar sometimes).
And just to clarify, PTA meetings, school events, or inviting the kids along do not count as date night. That time is sacred—it’s just for you and your partner, the one you’ve built a life with. Date night is the commitment that helps you avoid signing any other contracts, like divorce papers.
Every Wednesday, I know I’ll have time alone with my husband. We might enjoy a candlelit dinner at our favorite spot or grab burgers from the corner joint and take them to the beach. Pure romance, right?
I realize that in the past, couples may not have felt the need for date nights. They were busy farming, building shelters, or dealing with bears. Plus, life expectancies were shorter! But in our modern world, we could be spending up to 80 years together.
So, mark it on your calendar and treat it like a non-negotiable appointment. If a babysitter is out of reach, swap babysitting favors with a friend who also needs time with their partner. Make simple sandwiches and enjoy a picnic in the backyard with a baby monitor nearby. It still counts as date night!
If we’re lucky, in another 15 years, our kids will be off on their own adventures. And who will we have left? Each other. If we nurture our relationship now, we’ll still have date night to look forward to.