You’re Likely Not a Mom If…

  1. You share a “Thank Goodness It’s Friday!” post on social media, gearing up for a weekend packed with plans.
  2. You slice a piece of chocolate cake, sit down, and savor it like a proper adult.
  3. You rummage through your bag and retrieve what you were looking for on the first attempt.
  4. You look down on those who opt for minivans.
  5. You can sleep past 7:30 AM on a Saturday morning without a care.
  6. You can close the bathroom door and enjoy uninterrupted privacy throughout your visit.
  7. You can identify the stains on your jeans and they don’t faze you.
  8. The mess on your clothing actually bothers you.
  9. You’ve never engaged in a deep discussion about bowel movements.
  10. You enjoy your coffee piping hot, and you actually drink it that way.
  11. You don’t instinctively clench when you feel the urge to pee.
  12. You expect a big celebration for your birthday.
  13. You’ve never had to clean your entire home armed with just a pack of baby wipes.
  14. You’ve caught up with your close friends through lengthy phone calls.
  15. The idea of going to the grocery store alone on a Saturday night seems sad.
  16. You get a paper cut and use a standard, skin-toned Band-Aid to cover it up.
  17. You assume that random dried fruit on the floor is just that—a raisin.
  18. Your shower is about unwinding rather than just getting clean.
  19. The radio is tuned to your favorite music station.
  20. You take a sick day only when you’re genuinely unwell.
  21. You buy new clothes or accessories for yourself without a second thought.
  22. You can leave Target with fewer than ten items in hand.
  23. You return from vacations feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world.
  24. You find yourself complaining about your mother wanting to see you too often.
  25. You shake your head at other parents, confidently saying, “I would never…”

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In summary, if you relate to any of these points, you might not be a mom yet—but that doesn’t mean you can’t start preparing for the adventure ahead!

Keyphrase: Not a Mom If

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