“Did you see how she’s feeding her baby?”
“I can’t believe she thinks that’s okay?! He sleeps where?”
“What kind of parent would let their child sleep like that?”
Welcome to the world of parenting in public, where every choice is scrutinized, and our insecurities are laid bare for all to see. As mothers, we often feel the pressure of judgment from onlookers, leading to feelings of embarrassment and self-doubt. Am I the only one feeding my baby this way? Is anyone really paying attention to how I do things?
Welcome to the Mommy Wars, where we can be unkind to each other in online spaces, at playgroups, and during quick conversations in preschool parking lots. Unlike discussions on religion or politics, our parenting styles are out in the open, ready to be critiqued. The Mommy Wars chip away at our self-esteem with each snarky comment, as we struggle to balance the chaos of motherhood with our former identities. So why do we resort to being so harsh toward one another?
1. You’re Bored.
I get it. If my daughter asks me to play pretend with her one more time, I might just lose it! The monotony of parenting can be draining. Sometimes, diving into an online debate about parenting practices can feel energizing, much like how our parents used to unwind with soap operas. But engaging in these online spats can quickly become detrimental.
2. You’re Angry.
As moms, we often can’t express our frustrations about our children openly. When my toddler throws food on the floor, I might calmly say, “That’s not how we treat our meals.” But inside, I’m screaming, “Why are you doing this?!” Instead of directing that anger towards our little ones, we sometimes misplace it and lash out at each other.
3. You’re Jealous.
Ever see that mom at the pool who seems to have it all together, wearing a trendy swimsuit while you’re just trying to keep your kids in line? It’s easy to feel envious. We might critique her choices when, in truth, it’s our own insecurities that fuel those judgments. We need to remind ourselves that we shouldn’t compare our realities to someone else’s highlight reel.
4. You’re Overwhelmed.
Motherhood is a whirlwind of tasks from dressing the kids to feeding them, tackling the laundry, and assembling strollers. It can be exhausting! Yet, we often portray a picture-perfect version of our lives on social media, which doesn’t truly reflect the chaos we juggle daily. Why not be real with each other?
5. You’re Exhausted.
No need to elaborate here. Just know that I’m currently reheating my lukewarm coffee while thinking of you!
6. You’re Unsure of Your Identity.
New motherhood can feel isolating. We crave community and often seek validation from others who share our parenting philosophies. In our quest for belonging, we might unintentionally push others away.
7. You Crave Recognition.
Do you celebrate the small wins, like when your baby finally sleeps through the night? We shout these victories because we want validation. “Am I doing this right?” is a question many of us secretly harbor.
So, why the harsh treatment among us? We’re exhausted, anxious, and fearful that we’re failing the very children we adore. We lash out in our moments of weakness because we doubt ourselves. But what if we shifted our focus? We need each other, and we can only find solace when we uplift one another.
Instead of keyboard battles, let’s reach out to our friends. Celebrate their achievements, share the messiness of motherhood, and foster a supportive community. Our children observe how we treat each other—let’s model kindness and understanding for them.
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Summary:
Mom-shaming stems from deeper feelings of boredom, anger, jealousy, overwhelm, exhaustion, identity confusion, and a desire for recognition among mothers. These emotions lead to unkind behavior toward one another as we navigate the challenging world of parenting. To combat this cycle, it’s crucial to foster a supportive community, share the realities of motherhood, and uplift each other.
Keyphrase: mom shaming
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