Parenting
By Alex Morgan
Updated: Aug. 22, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 17, 2013
Let’s face it: becoming a parent is a monumental shift. One day, your life is carefree, and the next, you’re responsible for a tiny human. Despite nine months of anticipation, nothing can truly prepare you for the reality of parenting. You can read every book, buy all the essentials, and talk to other parents, but the truth is, the only way to understand the experience is to live it yourself.
It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and even frustrated in those early days. Sometimes, you might even feel a bit resentful toward your baby. Guess what? That’s okay.
Let’s be honest: babies can be a handful. They may have a delightful smell (if you enjoy that sort of thing) and can be cute in their own way, but overall, they tend to offer little besides stress and the occasional adorable grin. After waiting for months, it’s entirely understandable to feel underwhelmed upon meeting your baby for the first time. Few things can live up to such high expectations—except maybe the latest superhero movie.
Newborns are often seen as fragile bundles of responsibility, demanding and needy. They spend the first several months of life primarily crying, eating, and sleeping, leaving little room for connection. That’s the irony of parenting: once you get through the exhausting baby phase, you might find yourself yearning for the simplicity of those early days—especially when they hit their teenage years.
Many new parents worry when they don’t feel an instant connection with their child. “Is something wrong with me? Why didn’t I feel an overwhelming surge of love right away?” It’s important to remember that every parent’s experience is unique. Not everyone feels that immediate bond, and it doesn’t make you a monster. In fact, it’s often the babies who can be a bit monstrous themselves.
I was lucky—I adored my son from the moment he entered the world. However, I can understand why some parents might feel indifferent initially, particularly fathers. For men, the experience of pregnancy is largely theoretical until the baby arrives. While the mother’s body changes and prepares for the baby, fathers may not feel that same physical connection. It can take time for the reality to sink in, whether it’s through seeing the ultrasound, feeling a kick, or finally holding the baby.
If you need time to adjust to this new reality, that’s completely understandable. Babies are loud, messy, and demanding. If you met an adult with those traits, you’d likely want to leave the room. Yet, as a parent, you’re responsible for this little being. Your job is to care for them, even when it feels overwhelming. The goal is to stick it out long enough to see your baby grow into an individual with thoughts, feelings, and a personality—hopefully a good one.
It’s perfectly fine to have a love-hate relationship with your baby at first. Just remember, they won’t remain a baby forever. Stay engaged and see who they grow into—you might be pleasantly surprised.
For those considering starting their own journey into parenthood, check out this guide from Make a Mom for insights on home insemination. Additionally, Healthline offers valuable resources on pregnancy that can be quite helpful.
In conclusion, navigating parenthood can be tough, and it’s okay to feel frustrated at times. The initial phase can be challenging, but with time, those feelings often change as you bond with your child.