Updated: November 14, 2014
Originally Published: July 16, 2013
“Can I have a bikini?”
I glanced at my seven-year-old, her face lighting up with excitement.
“Can I have a bikini?” she repeated, her enthusiasm palpable.
My thoughts raced ahead. A bikini—a genuine two-piece, not just a tankini. She had one last summer, but time has flown, and she’s changed so much.
As her mother, my mind is a whirlwind of worries. Will she feel excluded? Will she be self-conscious? Will she face ridicule? I fear she might struggle with body image issues like I have throughout my life. I’ve never been a petite mom, and I worry my daughter may encounter the same weight-related challenges I’ve battled. I also worry about her confidence in wearing a bikini—would she be judged?
I suggest we pick a few different swimsuits to try on together. I lead her toward a bikini with more coverage, hoping to ease my concerns. But she stands firm; she knows what she wants. Yes, I’m the mom, the one who finances these choices, but I want to give her some agency. At just seven years old, she has so few decisions to make. Shouldn’t I allow her this small freedom? A choice that won’t hurt anyone and could bring her joy?
She needs a couple of swimsuits for the summer. I ordered two online that turned out to be less than ideal. She looks adorable in the tankinis we try, but I see the longing in her eyes for that bikini—the frilly one that showcases vibrant colors against the black fabric. She wants to feel a little more grown-up, and it seems a bikini is the ticket to that feeling. Plus, who doesn’t want to be comfortable? Can I really say no to less fabric against her skin?
With a change of heart, I decide to buy her the bikini.
A few weeks later, as I watch her leap off the dock and plunge into the water, I notice something remarkable. First, the bikini fits her perfectly. Second, my daughter has the confidence to wear it, to flaunt it, and to not care about the opinions of others. And I, too, have found the confidence to let her be herself.
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In summary, the journey of allowing our children to express themselves—especially in something as simple as a bikini—reflects our own growth as parents. It’s about balancing our worries with their happiness, supporting their confidence, and embracing their choices.
Keyphrase: bikini parenting choices
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