Every now and then—say, every hour on the dot—the demands of motherhood can become quite overwhelming. We find ourselves reminiscing about the days when our bodies were firmer and our schedules were free. While it’s not something we typically discuss at playdates, it’s something many of us experience. I adore my kids as much as I cherish air, but I truly miss the liberty that came with not having children. Sure, I had my fair share of responsibilities, but I didn’t have to fit little ones into every single plan. That freedom was more precious than I ever knew. Beyond the obvious things like sleep and the absence of stretch marks, there are subtler aspects of my pre-baby life that I miss. Here are eight of them:
1. Spending Money Without a Second Thought
Ah, those carefree times when a spontaneous $150 splurge on makeup or nail art was no big deal. If you’re not rolling in cash (and if you are, we’re all a bit envious), having a baby reshapes your financial landscape. What was once “fun money” has morphed into “we need every cent for diapers and formula” money. So, brace yourself for a wardrobe that won’t see an upgrade until your youngest is all grown up.
2. The Absence of Goldfish Crackers
Oh, to live in a world free of Goldfish! No crumbs in the car, no orange snacks stuck in the diaper bag, and certainly none ground into the couch cushions or high chair. I reminisce about a time when my life was free from those little snacky devils. It was blissfully clean—until mid-afternoon stress hit, and I devoured a mountain of them.
3. Late Nights Without Regrets
In the past, I could stay up late without the impending doom of early morning wake-up calls. Binge-watching until midnight seemed like a fantastic idea until a tiny human decided that 5 a.m. was a perfect time to jump on my head and demand breakfast.
4. Not Witnessing Diaper Drama
Remember when you didn’t have to watch someone else’s bowel movements? You know that moment when you open a diaper only to realize the job isn’t finished? Suddenly, you’re a poop coach, guiding them through their struggle like a birth doula. Life used to be much simpler.
5. Consistently Being in the Mood
Once upon a time, intimacy was the ultimate thrill. Now, I often find myself choosing sleep over sex, and who would’ve thought that ZZZs would become more appealing than XXX? Kindly keep your hands to yourself until the kids are asleep!
6. No Worries About Camel Toe
Perhaps I was just lucky, but before kids, I could wear whatever pants I wished without fear of wardrobe malfunctions. Now, a simple pair of yoga pants turns into a suction device. When did my body become a fashion trap? And why wasn’t that mentioned in any parenting books?
7. Ignorance About Caillou
What even is Caillou? I’m still pretending to be clueless just to annoy my child.
8. The State of My Rear End
Oh, my once-perky backside, how I miss you! It’s a puzzling phenomenon how my rear end managed to become both larger and flatter simultaneously. I do squats, but it seems my butt has joined the ranks of my missing confidence, perhaps lounging in my uterus next to my Venus Fly Trap-like clothing.
This article first appeared on July 11, 2013.
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Summary:
This piece humorously reflects on the things many parents miss about life before children, from financial freedom to carefree late nights. It captures the bittersweet nostalgia of motherhood while recognizing the joys and challenges of parenting.
Keyphrase: Things I miss about pre-baby life
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