Updated: Jan. 18, 2018
Originally Published: July 11, 2013
Six weeks post-birth, I finally got the green light from my doctor. I loaded my twins into the double-jogging stroller and embarked on a mile-long trek—uphill in one direction—to my favorite Starbucks, where I would reward myself with an iced venti skinny vanilla latte. Wanting to maximize my outing, I would often stop by the international grocery store to chat with the friendly owners and discover exciting new ingredients for dinner, or I’d pop into other shops in the plaza for some much-needed adult interaction.
Without fail, I would encounter someone who seemed utterly fascinated by the spectacle of twins, which, apparently, is a rarity in non-twin circles.
Starbucks Encounters
Man in line behind me at Starbucks: “Wow, you better have two in that thing!”
Me: [turning casually] “And if I don’t?”
Man: “Oh, uh, well…”
(Tip: Avoid absurd comments to a mom of twins before she’s had her coffee.)
Woman waiting for her drink: “Oh, they’re adorable! So quiet! You’re so LUCKY to have two babies that sleep all the time!”
Me: “We’ve only been here for five minutes after a 15-minute stroller trip. You really think they’re this quiet all the time?”
Woman: “Oh, right. Are they good for you at home?”
Me: “Nope. They’re babies. They cry when they want to eat, sleep, or be held. And I’ve only got two hands. They cry a lot.”
Woman: “Oh, I guess two is tougher than one. When MINE were babies, I loved holding them ALL the time! You have DOUBLE the love now!”
Me: “Sure, everything is doubled… including the diapers.”
(Tip: Avoid gushing about the love a mom of twins has when you haven’t changed a poopy diaper in 30 years.)
Questions About Twins
Man in line at Starbucks: “Twins! Are they paternal?”
Me: “You mean fraternal?”
Man: “Yeah, whatever’s not identical.”
Me: “Correct, they’re fraternal.”
Man: “But they’re both girls?”
Me: [What was your first clue? The bright pink and purple dresses?] “Yes, they are both girls.”
Man: “I thought fraternal meant both were boys.”
Me: [sigh] “No, fraternal just means they aren’t identical. Two separate eggs can be either gender or one of each.”
Man: “Oh, cool. So do they look exactly alike?”
Me: [SIGH] “No, they’re like any other siblings, just born on the same day.” [Seriously, I know six-year-olds who grasped this concept faster!]
Man: “Oooooh, got it. They’re cute.”
Me: “Thanks.”
(Tip: If you weren’t a biology major, avoid using terms you don’t understand.)
More Encounters
Woman working at Walgreens: “WOW! Look at that! TWO babies! Are they TWINS?”
Me: “Yes.” [Did I just decide I needed more chaos and brought this one along with the other to spice things up?]
Woman: “You must be BUSY!”
Me: “Yes.” [Could you kindly step aside? You’re blocking the aisle I need for baby vitamins.]
Woman: “I just can’t IMAGINE it! Do you LOVE it?”
Me: “It’s challenging. Could you, um, let me grab those over there…”
Woman: “Oh, OF COURSE! I bet you have SO much to do, and HERE I AM wasting your TIME!”
Me: “Heh, heh, yeah, busy.” [Seriously, I’m in a hurry here.]
Woman: “I just HAVE to get a good look at those BABIES!” [As she reaches for the blanket covering them to keep them asleep.]
Me: [backing up a step] “Yeah, they’re asleep now, and the light disturbs them.”
Woman: “Oh, I’ll just take a QUICK peek!”
Me: [SIGH. I raise the end of one blanket a couple of inches.] “Okay.”
Woman: “Oooooh, aren’t they PRECIOUS! Well, I’ll let you go now!”
Me: “Thanks.” [I was about to call for reinforcements if you didn’t back off!]
(Tip: If you acknowledge a new mom is busy, and she confirms it, try not to waste her time by disturbing her sleeping babies.)
Woman at the Farmer’s Market: “Ooooh, aren’t they cute! Twins?”
Me: “Yes.”
Woman: “A boy and a girl?”
Me: “No, two girls. Did the flower dress confuse you?”
Woman: “Oh, ha ha, right.”
(Tip: When gender is unclear, just ask their names.)
Woman in line at Starbucks: “Wow, twins! Are they natural?”
Me: [pausing for a moment] “Nope, we already have one real daughter, so we made these out of plastic.” [You could practically hear crickets chirping.]
Woman: [looking puzzled] “Oh, ha ha, right – they’re beautiful.”
Me: “Thanks.”
(Tip: If you’re uncomfortable discussing how you conceived your kids, try not to pry about my children’s conception.)
Then there was the grocery bagger at the Commissary who didn’t speak much English. She pointed to my pregnant belly, grabbed her own breast, and said, “From here?” I nodded, utterly baffled about why this was any of her business. She flexed her arm like she was showing off muscles and said, “Good! Grow strong!”
Imagine what life would be like without the unsolicited advice of complete strangers!
For more insights on parenting and to explore your options for starting a family, check out our post on couples’ fertility journeys for intracervical insemination here. If you’re seeking expert advice on home insemination, this resource is invaluable. And if you’re considering DIY options, BabyMaker’s at-home insemination kit is a great choice.
Summary
The experience of parenting twins often comes with a unique blend of challenges and unexpected interactions with strangers, each offering their own unsolicited opinions and advice. From curious onlookers to those trying to engage in conversation, the journey is filled with amusing and sometimes baffling exchanges. Understanding these dynamics can help new parents navigate their experiences with humor and grace.
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