It feels good to be acknowledged and admired, whether by men or women. Every woman, to some degree, desires to be seen, to feel attractive, and to be appreciated. However, the attention we receive can quickly turn sour.
From an early age, I experienced this kind of attention. I vividly remember an incident in sixth grade when I was cycling down the street. At a stoplight, an older man in a truck whistled at me and made a crude gesture that I couldn’t fully comprehend at the time. Even then, it made my stomach turn. It was clear that his actions were sexualized, and I felt uncomfortable and exposed.
Such encounters have been a regular occurrence throughout my life. Many men seem to operate under the misguided notion that women exist solely for their enjoyment. This objectification is not only unsettling but also deeply disrespectful.
Over time, I learned strategies to navigate these situations—how to avoid eye contact, how to ignore lewd comments about my appearance, and how to pretend that I wasn’t bothered by their remarks. After high school, I faced multiple instances of sexual abuse, which only reinforced the belief that my worth to men was tied to my sexuality, and somehow, I felt it was my fault.
I’ve often been told I possess a “sensual” nature. During a counseling session, after recounting my experience of being raped, my counselor remarked, “You are a very sensual person.” I was taken aback and confused. It felt as if my femininity was being blamed for the violence I had endured. This experience left me feeling like a mere object rather than a person with depth and value.
Catcalls rarely celebrate one’s intelligence or kindness; they focus solely on sexual appeal. No one shouts out the window about how compassionate or brilliant you are. Instead, the attention fixates on your body and what it can provide for someone else.
Recently, a married man expressed interest in me. Initially, the flirting was flattering and provided a boost to my self-esteem after years of being primarily identified as a mother. Yet, when I learned he was married, the situation soured, reminding me once again that many men prioritize their desires over the feelings of women.
Society often places women in a no-win scenario. If you are deemed attractive, it seems to invite unwelcome advances, and that’s frustrating. I take pride in my appearance and enjoy putting effort into how I dress because it makes me feel good. I do not dress to attract men; I do it for myself. Yet when I receive unwanted attention, I feel the urge to cover up and hide my beauty to avoid unwanted comments.
It’s disheartening that some men are driven solely by their sexual desires without regard for the humanity of the women they approach. While not all men are like this, those who are contribute to an environment where women feel unsafe in their own skin.
So to the men who think women are merely objects for your pleasure: we are not here for your amusement. Your unsolicited comments are not charming; they are demeaning. I shouldn’t have to hide my body or walk with my head down to avoid your inappropriate remarks. I want to express my femininity without being objectified.
My beauty is not a commodity, and neither is my body. Women deserve to be recognized for who they are beyond their physical appearance.
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In summary, women are complex beings deserving of respect, not objectification. It’s essential to recognize their worth beyond mere physical attributes and to foster an environment where they can feel safe and valued.