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Parenting
By: Emily Carter
Updated: August 21, 2015
Originally Published: March 28, 2013
I must admit, I can’t stand the term “playdate.” There’s something about the word that suggests an unnecessary formality to what should simply be children playing freely. Ideally, that play should happen outside or in the comfort of someone else’s home.
Remember the days when you’d be locked out of the house by your mom, left with no choice but to entertain yourself on the rusty swing set with your sibling? For me, every Saturday until I went off to college was a time capsule of routine. My sister and I would rise at dawn, catch episodes of The Smurfs and The Flintstones, and turn the basement into our personal playground. Breakfast, which was the signal for chores, would eventually call us upstairs.
After a hearty meal, we would face the inevitable task of dismantling the elaborate Barbie village we’d created that very morning. Dusting, vacuuming, and mopping were next on the agenda before we were finally rewarded with being locked outside to play. Those are cherished memories, but they’re ones my children will sadly miss out on.
Instead, they will likely recall their meticulously organized playdates. My firstborn, Lily, will certainly remember the countless playgroups I joined in Essex County, often venturing to neighboring areas for support and adult conversation. However, what I discovered was more like navigating a minefield of demanding little rulers arguing over the latest sippy cup or jogging stroller.
The typical two-hour playdate was spent trailing behind the kids, cleaning up crushed goldfish crackers and fetching more toys. All I really wanted was to collapse on the couch with a cocktail and connect with other moms. Strangely, no one else seemed interested in that idea, and the notion of having a drink at 10 a.m. didn’t gain traction. I was open to waiting until 11, but that breakfast happy hour never materialized.
Then there were those impromptu playdates I never agreed to. More than once, a child would invite themselves over without my prior knowledge. I’d grant permission for them to play, only to be met with the parent asking when they should pick their child up. Excuse me? If you invite, you should host!
I thought perhaps those parents didn’t realize their kids were making plans without them, until one mom directly asked me if her son could come over to my house for a playdate. I was taken aback and had to ask her to repeat what she said. But yes, she was indeed inviting her son to my home. I had to politely decline.
Eventually, there came a time when my kids could entertain friends without parental oversight. Initially, I was thrilled until I realized I was now responsible for more than just my two. One little guest was unhappy with the provided snack and demanded alternatives. Another thought it was acceptable to rummage through my fridge without asking. My son’s friend insisted on calling me by my first name despite my repeated corrections, and there was that memorable incident when a little friend had an accident in my bathroom and adamantly refused to come out.
It’s hard for me to accept that kids no longer play outside like we used to. My home is just a half-block away from three boys in my son’s class, and my daughter is old enough to stroll over to her friends’ houses. Yet, no one seems to just go outside to play anymore. It seems everything has to be pre-scheduled. Maybe I should equip my kids with Blackberries to arrange playtimes in their planners. Once kids are ‘penciled in,’ perhaps then they’ll be allowed outside to play.
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Summary:
The author expresses a strong dislike for the term “playdate” and the formalized structure of children’s interactions today. They reminisce about their childhood filled with unstructured play and reflect on their experiences with organized playdates, often finding them stressful and less enjoyable than expected. The shift from spontaneous outdoor play to scheduled activities is lamented, highlighting a significant change in how children socialize.
Keyphrase: Dislike Scheduled Playtimes
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