Let’s get real—I’m not fond of the baby phase. You know, that 0-12 month territory? Before I became a mother, I had a serious aversion to babies. (Honestly, I still do, to some extent). When someone would thrust a baby into my arms, I’d adopt a zombie-like pose as though I was about to hold a creature from a horror movie. I’d break into a sweat and feel a wave of nausea.
When my first child arrived, I was riding high on the adrenaline of new motherhood, fueled by hormones and a sprinkle of fear. For the first couple of weeks, I didn’t recoil at her infantile charms. But then, the visits from family dwindled, my husband went back to work, and I was left alone with this little being.
As my newfound mom hormones faded, reality set in. Diaper changes were endless, and I felt like a milk factory—one that wasn’t even producing enough to satisfy her. The smell of formula was reminiscent of dog food, and the laundry pile of dirty onesies was insurmountable. The baby cried often, and I was frequently clueless about the cause. My thoughts spiraled: “I’m bored. I’m trapped. I’m utterly exhausted. When will this baby sleep?”
I’ve always envied those moms who claim to have fallen in love the moment they laid eyes on their newborns. It seems like that enchanted mother-baby bond is the image plastered everywhere—billboards, commercials, parenting books. Yet, here I am, admitting that I don’t feel that spark with my baby. It’s like confessing to a crime.
Let me clarify: Yes, I love my daughter and wouldn’t trade her for anything. But I just don’t enjoy babies, and here’s why:
- Breastfeeding Woes: Leaky and chafed nipples, engorged breasts—need I say more?
- Projectile Poop: Seriously, that stuff can fly across a room. No one warned me!
- Sleep Deprivation: Babies don’t sleep when you want them to. My daughter would nap for five glorious hours in the afternoon but then keep me up all night.
- Fragility: I was perpetually anxious about breaking her bones just by holding her the wrong way or causing suffocation while swaddling.
- Communication Barriers: Babies can’t talk, so every cry turned into a guessing game. Was it a diaper change? A bottle? Tummy time? Who knows!
- Limited Cuteness: They’re adorable for mere seconds before they’re hungry, poopy, or fussy again. The cute moments are fleeting.
- Alien-Like Appearance: Let’s face it—most babies look a bit like aliens. Mine certainly did.
- Public Crying: Babies cry in restaurants, and it’s embarrassing. Trust me, I’d rather eat cereal at home than deal with that chaos. And don’t even get me started on planes!
- Car Seat Complications: Figuring out a baby car seat feels like rocket science. After all the effort, they’re still likely to scream.
- Unwanted Attention: Everyone wants to touch your baby, which means they want to talk to you too. I’m not a fan of random strangers cooing over my kid in public.
So, why do we even like babies? It’s a mystery!
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In summary, while I may not resonate with the baby stage, my love for my daughter remains unwavering. The reality of motherhood is often far from the idealized moments we see in media, and that’s okay.