Parenting
Chore Charts Are Absurd by Lily Thompson
Updated: Jan. 29, 2021
Originally Published: March 2, 2013
Ah, the return of the dreaded chore charts. I promised myself I’d never revisit this nonsense, yet here I am, glaring at those exhausting pieces of paper stuck to the fridge, as they look back at me with smugness. “Let’s get one thing straight; we’re not going to be pals.”
A couple of years ago, I threw in the towel on chore charts. What started as a straightforward attempt to teach my kids responsibility morphed into a test of my own patience. Honestly, I needed a chore chart just to survive the whole maddening ordeal.
Don’t lose your cool while you once again explain the expectations of the chore chart for the umpteenth time (which, let’s face it, is every single night).
Don’t bite your tongue so hard you taste blood as you suppress the urge to yell at your kids while defining those expectations.
And definitely, don’t reach for a bottle of wine while you’re trying to keep your composure during yet another explanation of the chore chart.
Lastly, don’t collapse on the floor in sheer defeat, allowing your kids to traipse over you just to place a sticker on their chart for tasks they didn’t even remotely complete.
What follows is a symphony of whining, pleading, empty promises, and a mountain of IOUs in exchange for maybe 80% completion of the chores. And let’s not even start on those infuriating stickers.
“Who put a sticker next to the ‘No sticker without Mommy’s approval’ rule? Take it off, now!” Spoiler alert: it doesn’t come off. No amount of scrubbing or scraping will erase the evidence of that sticker. What looks like an empty spot to me is somehow a glorious victory in my children’s eyes. “Yep, that’s where my sticker was. I’m practically a superhero.”
My reluctance to dive back into this chaos is firmly rooted in past experiences. However, everyone deserves another shot, and surprisingly, my kids were genuinely eager for this chance. One of them, Mia, was excited to prove her responsibility and truly wanted to “help out.” The other? She just loves stickers.
As the saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, not gonna happen.” So here’s the game changer: no stickers! Instead, each completed task will be recognized with a smiley face drawn delicately with a number two pencil.
Of course, I’m doing this for Mia. She really deserves it and shouldn’t be punished for her sister’s lack of enthusiasm. Her chart fills up daily, and she even earns bonus smiley faces for extra chores she tackles on her own.
And then there’s Lily, who sat next to me as we outlined her expectations. “Pick up your toys without grumbling.”
“Sure, Mom.”
“Finish your homework without complaints.”
“Okay, Mom.”
“Eat dinner in less than 90 minutes without wrestling your green beans.”
“Fine.”
“Brush your teeth for longer than half a second without whining about it.”
“Whatever.”
“Be nice to your sister.”
“Seriously, Mom? That’s way too hard! Not cool!”
Fast forward a month, and Lily’s chore chart is utterly empty. In fact, I’ve hidden it away under a pile of forgotten junk in the corner of my kitchen, eagerly awaiting recycling day.
“Do I get a smiley face for recycling, Mommy? Saving the planet is good, right?”
Insert frowny face in permanent marker here.
This article was originally published on March 2, 2013. If you’re interested in more thoughtful parenting insights, check out other posts on our blog, including one about home insemination kits, like Cryobaby at Home Insemination Kit. For more expert advice, Impregnator at Home Insemination Kit is worth a look. Plus, for a fantastic resource on pregnancy, visit March of Dimes Pregnancy Week by Week.
In summary, chore charts can be a maddening endeavor for parents, often leading to frustration instead of the intended lessons in responsibility. While some kids may thrive, others might just be in it for the stickers. In the end, it’s about finding a system that works for your family, even if that means tossing the chore chart altogether.
Keyphrase: Chore charts are absurd
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