My Dear Kids,
Tonight, I found myself giving in to peer pressure, something I’ve always advised you to resist. A group of friends persuaded me to watch Fifty Shades of Grey. I dismissed the nagging voice in my head urging me to say “no,” thinking it was just a light-hearted film. Unfortunately, I regret not heeding that voice, but I’m also grateful because it led me to share these thoughts with you.
One day, I’ll blink and realize you’re at an age where movies like Fifty Shades of Grey could pique your curiosity. You might even find yourself sneaking a look sooner. It’s a tough truth to accept, but I know that your youthful innocence will eventually encounter this film. That’s why I want to prepare you for that moment.
What Fifty Shades of Grey Is Not
Let’s start by clarifying what Fifty Shades of Grey is not.
First and foremost, it is not a love story. It masquerades as one, but true love is absent from its premise. It’s certainly not a romantic fairy tale with a pinch of naughtiness added in. In fact, there’s no romance to be found. The portrayal of S&M in this film is anything but harmless. It showcases a wealthy, charming man using his power to seduce and control a naive student, pushing her into situations that make her uncomfortable.
These characters are not equals or partners; they barely even exist as a ‘them.’ Instead, the narrative revolves around a self-centered man indulging in his controlling and violent sexual appetites, believing he has the right to manipulate a vulnerable young woman for his own pleasure. It’s all about his desires, with an unsettling expectation that she should comply, no matter her discomfort.
As I sat in that packed theater, surrounded by countless women who seemed to buy into this so-called ‘sexy love story,’ I felt a wave of unease. If an entire theater of women, three times your age, failed to grasp the harmful nature of this story, how can I expect teenagers like you to see it clearly?
My daughters, never fall for the glamorization of sexual abuse that this film promotes. And my son, don’t ever think it’s acceptable to intimidate or manipulate a woman like the character Christian Grey. No one deserves to be disrespected or coerced against their will.
I hope that when you’re old enough to navigate relationships, you’ll understand that intimacy should always be enjoyable for both parties, no matter your preferences. Consent given under pressure is not real consent. I want you to demand respect and reciprocate it.
After watching that movie, I walked out feeling anxious for your generation. If this is the standard for love and romance, then I need to set the record straight.
Understanding True Love
If someone truly cares for you, showing up unannounced at your job and becoming possessive when a colleague speaks to you is not romantic; it’s unsettling. If you express your inexperience and someone reacts by forcing themselves on you, that is not love; it’s assault. If he tracks your movements when you’re out and takes you somewhere without your consent, that’s stalking—not protection. If he enters your home without an invitation, it’s not sweet; it’s breaking and entering.
If you say “no” and he ties you to the bed, threatening you to keep quiet, that’s not passion; it’s rape. If he takes your property and claims it’s a surprise, that’s manipulation.
If he monitors your calls and threatens you because another man reaches out, he’s not in love; he’s abusive. And if inflicting pain brings him joy, and he pressures you to endure it for his sake, listen closely: there’s nothing romantic about that.
My dear children, this film left me deeply unsettled, and I’ve lived long enough to recognize its dangers. I worry that you may grow up with relationships modeled after such toxic narratives and confuse them for normalcy.
Please remember, love is gentle. Love never takes or demands. Love waits for mutual consent and doesn’t rely on extravagant gestures to prove itself. When it’s real, the voice in your head won’t scream; it will simply be at peace.
Listen to me, my precious ones. And if you choose to ignore my advice, at least heed the voice that guides you within.
With all my love,
Mum
P.S. For more insights on healthy relationships, check out this excellent resource on in vitro fertilization, which can also provide useful information on family planning.
Summary
This heartfelt letter aims to prepare children for the potential dangers of films like Fifty Shades of Grey. It emphasizes that true love is based on mutual respect and consent, not manipulation or control. The author warns against the romanticization of toxic behaviors portrayed in such media, encouraging her children to trust their instincts and seek genuine connections.
Keyphrase: “Fifty Shades of Grey and relationships”
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