I’ll admit it: I have a tendency to raise my voice. There’s a certain thrill in breaking through the chaos with a loud shout, and that brief moment of silence that follows? It feels almost euphoric—like a delicate vase collecting the funds I’ll eventually pass on to my kids’ future therapists. Yet, I detest yelling and truly desire to reduce it. Thus, I’ve set myself a modest New Year’s challenge: I will refrain from yelling at my children for a full 24 hours.
The secret to sticking to a New Year’s resolution is to keep it manageable. No overhauls, just small, attainable steps toward a bigger aspiration. That’s why I’m starting with just one day of no yelling. It seems like a reasonable goal, one I can build upon. I don’t expect to eliminate yelling entirely, because a) a little yelling can be beneficial for kids—some moments just call for it—and b) let’s be honest, that’s unrealistic.
I don’t yell at my children every single day; however, it was a common form of communication in my family growing up, and I’ve unintentionally carried that into my parenting style. Despite its occasional effectiveness, yelling lacks kindness, and I think we’d all benefit from me doing it less. However, avoiding yelling for an entire day will present its own challenges.
The Midnight to 6 AM Challenge
Take the hours between midnight and 6 AM, for instance—those are the wild west of yelling hours. Once kids hit a certain age, nightly awakenings at 2 AM lose their charm. Initially, you feel sympathy for your little one having nightmares, but by week five, you might find yourself thinking, “What can I do to convince you that monsters aren’t real? I’d even hire a shaman if it would help!” Resisting that 2 AM “go to sleep!” yell will require immense self-control, especially when the sleep-deprived rage feels akin to that intense scene in Unbroken.
The Morning Chaos
Then there’s the morning chaos of getting ready for school. That often involves spirited debates over lost shoes and “forgetting” to brush their teeth. I might need to adopt the lotus position just to maintain my zen. While I usually manage to keep my cool during the school hours, the drive home is a different story. Kids can turn into little monsters at that time, having been missed, only to unleash sibling squabbles as soon as they’re buckled into the car.
Homework and Mealtimes
Oh, and we cannot forget the beautiful chaos of homework and mealtimes. To avoid yelling in these moments, I try a “natural consequences” approach. Don’t want to do your homework? Fine, you can explain that to your teacher tomorrow. Not interested in dinner? Well, prepare to feel hungry! I may end up with hungry, uneducated children, but at least I won’t be raising my voice.
Bedtime: The True Jekyll and Hyde of Parenting
Finally, we arrive at bedtime—the true Jekyll and Hyde of parenting. When saying goodnight, I’m overflowing with love and gratitude for my kids. But once I step out of the room, the requests for “one more hug” or “I need water” start rolling in, and before I know it, I’ve transformed into something else entirely.
What I’m getting at is that throughout the day, there are plenty of valid reasons to raise your voice at kids, but I want to take advantage of fewer of them. I’m definitely going to need a constructive outlet for my frustration instead. Maybe that’s when people start knitting tiny sweaters for pets. Personally, I think I’ll just scream into a pillow.
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In summary, while the challenges of parenting are plentiful, with a bit of patience and creativity, it’s possible to navigate them without resorting to yelling. Small changes can lead to significant progress over time.
Keyphrase: I will not yell at my kids
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