Moms Can Be Gross: A Truthful Confession

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Today, I found myself picking a booger—but it wasn’t my own. It was perched on my daughter’s nose, almost like it was asking for a rescue mission. It felt instinctual, like I was born for this moment. There it was, just hanging out, and my mom instincts kicked in. Of course, I used my bare hands to pluck it off her adorable little face and flick it to the ground where it belonged. Seriously, who do you think you are, booger? You might as well have been a feather for a bird’s nest by now. They would have hit the jackpot with that choice material—pliable and perfect for construction. And hey, recycling is a win-win, right?

I had an audience while I performed this not-so-glamorous act, and you know what? I didn’t care! We continued our chat as if nothing was amiss. The reality is, moms do these gross things all the time—I am, in fact, quite gross myself.

Using our saliva to clean our kids is definitely not hygienic. But let’s be honest, how many times have you found yourself licking your finger to wipe away a mark on your child’s face? “Oh, look at that marker stain, sweetie! Let me just lick my finger and tackle that like a feral creature.” It’s absurd and yet oddly comforting in its familiarity.

Ever have your face too close to a diaper and think, “What am I doing with my life?” You catch a whiff of something foul, and even though your child insists they don’t need a change, you find yourself leaning in for that telltale sniff. Why do we do this? Seriously, it’s like taking a hit from a stinky bong! What if my boss could see me now? Maybe I should add “expert in detecting foul odors” to my resume. Oh wait, was that “bullshit” I just said? My bad; it’s just plain old poop. Sniffing poop is my daily grind—super classy, right?

To outsiders, motherhood might seem revolting, but as mothers, we develop a kind of blindness to its grossness. It’s a survival tactic because sometimes you just have to dive headfirst into the chaos.

If you’re curious about how to navigate this wild world of parenting, you might want to check out this resource on in vitro fertilisation or explore these at-home insemination options for those considering expanding their families. And if you want to delve deeper into the topic, this 21-piece kit is an excellent choice.

Summary

Being a mom is undeniably messy and often gross. From picking boogers to sniffing diapers, we embrace the chaos that comes with parenthood. This survival instinct helps us push through the more repulsive tasks. Embrace the mess and the funny moments that come with it!

Keyphrase: moms can be gross
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