Dear parents I once worked with before I became a mother, I owe you an apology.
I apologize for not fully understanding what it truly means to raise children when I was sitting at the IEP table as a job coach and prevocational educator. While I considered my students my own, the reality of parenting is a different journey altogether.
I regret not recognizing how exhausted you were by the time you reached me, already worn down by the challenges of autism. My youthful, eager attitude—fresh out of college and ready to make a difference—may have annoyed you, or perhaps it provided a glimmer of hope. I genuinely hope it was the latter. Now, after seeing some of my child’s teachers who look like they could still be in high school, I understand why you may have viewed me with skepticism or frustration.
I’m sorry for the days I came to work feeling less than energized. Whether I was distracted by personal issues or just plain tired from a late night, I may not have given your child the attention they deserved. It was a disservice to them, as my role was meant to be about connection with people, not just completing tasks. There’s no such thing as “phoning it in” when you’re working with individuals.
I apologize for the times I looked at my student roster and thought, “Oh man, them?” Each name represented a unique personality, deserving of respect and understanding, not merely viewed as a challenge I needed to overcome.
I regret not keeping in touch with many of you; your insights would be invaluable to me now. I also apologize if I ever complained about being tired—because the fatigue that comes from parenting a child with autism is an entirely different level of exhaustion, which I was blissfully unaware of.
I now fully understand the chaos that unexpected snow days or vacations can bring to your structured routines. I’m also sorry if I ever cast a look of pity your way. What you truly needed was empathy, not sympathy. To pity would suggest that your child’s challenges were something to be avoided rather than embraced.
Please know that I often reflect on my past interactions and wish I had approached them differently.
I’m sorry.
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Summary
In this heartfelt apology, the author reflects on her previous role as an educator and the lack of understanding she had about parenting, particularly with children on the autism spectrum. She expresses regret for not recognizing the challenges faced by parents, the importance of empathy over pity, and the need for connection.
Keyphrase: Understanding Parenting Challenges
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