When my youngest child, Chris, graduated from college, it marked the end of my role as a “mom” who dispensed allowances, reminded him of doctor’s appointments, prompted thank-you notes, took care of bank deposits, scheduled car washes, registered him for classes, called his grandmothers, ordered contact lenses, and bought him new socks, among countless other tasks.
Like many parents, my journey with Chris was filled with pivotal moments that shaped him into the man he is today. I remember him at just 18 months, getting fitted for glasses to correct his lazy eye, enduring a year in preschool with a patch, and undergoing surgeries to address the issue. Fast forward to age 5, when he started kindergarten and made friends he still connects with today. At 8, he walked to school alone for the first time, and by 14, he was hitting triples in his last year of little league baseball. At 15, he faced the heartbreaking loss of his beloved grandfather. By 17, he was on the varsity football team, only to be sidelined by a stress fracture that cut short his best sports season.
Then came the moment he was almost 22, ready to graduate with a job he adored waiting for him. Honestly, if you had told me this would be his path when he first began college four years prior, I would have had my reservations. Not that he wasn’t capable, smart, or driven, but he seemed a bit out of focus, as if he were still developing. Watching my now 6’2” son walk into his dorm on move-in day, I sensed it wouldn’t be an easy ride for him—and I was right. The academic workload was hefty, the social scene was daunting, and the scorching desert heat was relentless. Just managing dorm life with a roommate he didn’t get along with was enough to give any mother pause.
My husband and I tried to anticipate every potential challenge that might arise, eager to ease the bumps along his path as a college freshman. We were still hovering like persistent helicopters, guiding him through life.
However, everything changed during his junior year when he returned home to attend community college for a semester. After making the best decision of his life, he chose to return to the university he had left behind. That’s when we finally made a wise choice ourselves: we stepped back.
This didn’t mean we stopped being available when he called, or that our worries vanished, or that our love for him diminished. Instead, we allowed him to navigate his own challenges. We chose to trust him to find his way, and that’s when things started to click for him—it felt as if I had finally adjusted a pair of binoculars to see him clearly. Or perhaps he was the one who found his focus.
For parents of older children—especially those who might seem a bit lost—the key is to foster trust and belief in them. Encourage them to carve their own paths and to discover what brings clarity to their futures. Allow them to stumble and learn from their mistakes without rushing in to fix everything. Let them pursue their passions with the same fervor we have for them. The greatest gift we can give them is the freedom to grow up, grow away, and grow strong.
This article was originally published on Aug. 20, 2012.
Looking for more insightful parenting advice? Check out our post on boosting fertility supplements here to stay informed. And if you’re considering home insemination, this resource offers excellent guidance. For a practical home insemination kit, visit this link for an authoritative option.
In summary, letting go can be the best decision for our college-aged children. By trusting them to navigate their challenges, we allow them to grow into their true potential.
Keyphrase: parenting college students
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”