Attention, ladies: let’s get one thing straight—ALL MEN PEE IN THE SHOWER. No matter what your partner may claim, it’s a fact that he has, or currently is, enjoying a little relief in your shower. This behavior extends to the ocean, pools, public fountains, and even random kitchen sinks. But for now, let’s focus on the shower.
Peeing in the shower used to be a hassle-free experience. The tub was clean, free of debris, and I could hop in, close my eyes, and let it flow. However, over the past eight years, my shower time has taken a drastic turn. (Unless I’m staying at a hotel or visiting friends—sorry, everyone.)
Now, I’ve had to implement an extra step in my routine:
- STEP 1: UNDRESS
- STEP 2: PEE
- STEP 3: SHOWER
You see the issue here? It used to be a simple two-step process:
- STEP 1: UNDRESS
- STEP 2: PEE/SHOWER
What changed? Kids. Those little dream thieves, who enter the world all cute and cuddly, soon transform into walking obstacles. My shower joy has been squashed by the sheer volume of toys that seem to multiply in the bathtub. Sticky alphabet letters? Check. Floating rubber duckies? Check. Kitchen bowls, dog toys, and other odds and ends? Oh, you bet. I once even found a pork chop in there.
For years, I’ve attempted to navigate my way around this toy minefield, convinced that the water would wash them clean. But more often than not, I’d talk myself out of it. This morning, however, brought an unexpected delight.
As I groggily stumbled into the bathroom, I noticed, to my astonishment, that the tub was completely devoid of toys. A wave of excitement washed over me, and I could not help but smile. But just as quickly as that joy arrived, it faded away—I realized I had already taken care of business before stepping into the shower.
Another victory for the kids, I suppose.
This article was originally published on July 19, 2012. If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out this resource on home insemination kits. For further information on pregnancy, here’s an excellent resource about in vitro fertilization.
Summary
This piece humorously explores how parenting changes personal routines, specifically the simple pleasure of showering without the interference of children’s toys. It highlights the joys and challenges of parenthood while maintaining a light-hearted tone.
Keyphrase: Kids stealing joy in parenting
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