Lately, Mia’s bathroom routine has become almost comically predictable. By “comically predictable,” I mean it’s reached a level that tests my patience. Whether we’re dining at home, out at a restaurant, or visiting friends, the moment everyone sits down to enjoy their meal is invariably when I hear, “Mommy, I need to go potty.” At five years old, Mia is certainly old enough, but I have zero desire to be scrubbing underwear clean, so off to the restroom we go—visuals not included!
During a recent dinner outing, as the waitress set my plate before me, Mia announced her tummy was upset and insisted she couldn’t possibly wait. So, we made our way to the restroom, hand in hand. Our exchange in there that evening is a blur, but I can guarantee it revolved around one topic: poop, poop, and more poop. To the line of women outside, impatiently knocking as I called, “We’re almost done!” it must’ve sounded like quite the lively conversation—far more entertaining than the reality.
“C’mon, sweetheart. I’d really like to enjoy my dinner while it’s still warm.”
Grunt.
Grunt.
“Are you finished yet? Seriously.”
Grunt. Giggle. Grunt.
“Hurry up, my dear; next time, you’re going it alone, no matter the mess.”
Grunt.
“I’m really losing my appetite here!”
Grunt. Grunt. Grunt.
“We can’t keep doing this. I mean it—focus!”
Grunt. GRUNT.
“Finally! Let’s clean up and eat; I’m starving.”
Giggle.
For the record, it was not a pleasant experience for me.
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In summary, parenting can lead to some undeniably chaotic moments, especially when bathroom breaks coincide with meal times. Whether it’s about potty training or exploring family planning options, finding humor in the madness can help keep us sane!
Keyphrase: parenting bathroom humor
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