Navigating the world of friendship post-baby can be challenging, particularly when a tiny, demanding little one is now your primary focus. Yet, your bond with your best friend remains a priority, so you muster the strength to make time for those much-needed catch-ups. It’s a delightful reunion, especially when she graciously takes the baby so you can indulge in a rare shower.
Oh, how you’ve missed chatting with an adult! You might find yourself slightly dozing off while she recounts her latest adventures, but finally sharing the joys (and struggles) of new motherhood — like the joys of healing stitches — is a breath of fresh air. And surprisingly, you’re not even embarrassed when you discreetly nurse your baby in front of her, while she watches in awe at your newfound multitasking skills.
But then, you notice your friend isn’t reaching out as much as she used to. Could it be the topics of conversation? Suddenly, the intimate details of your baby’s bowel movements take center stage. Once taboo, discussions about poop have become entirely normal, with parents dissecting every aspect of their child’s output — its color, consistency, and even aroma! It’s a wild transformation, but one that your childless friends may not appreciate as much.
Even now, with my own kids aged seven and three, I’m still very much entrenched in the “poop talk” phase. But I realize that while I might find humor in a poop incident, my friend might not share that enthusiasm. Therefore, I’ll keep it brief and pivot the conversation toward her life before she runs for the hills (or worse, my carpet).
The same goes for the topic of breastfeeding. Remember when you cringed at the mere mention of “nipple”? Post-baby, it’s all you can think about — the chafing, the ointments, the challenges with latching. It’s a far cry from the days when such discussions felt uncomfortable. Unless your BFF has an abnormal affinity for this subject, it’s best to limit these conversations.
Other sensitive subjects to tread lightly around include:
- Spit-up incidents (especially that time you played airplane with baby and ended up with more than you bargained for)
- Your postpartum body (details on tearing, bleeding, or new shapes)
- The awkwardness of your partner trying breast milk and sharing his surprise at its taste.
While some topics are too graphic, others might be horror stories that could deter your friend from considering motherhood anytime soon.
Feeling overwhelmed by what to talk about? Here are some friendly conversation starters:
- Inquire about her life. Even though you’re fatigued, it’s essential to stay engaged and interested. Your friend’s romantic ups and downs may seem trivial compared to your new reality, but every relationship has its challenges. So, avoid judging her choices through your “mom lens” — she’ll learn in her own time.
- Revisit shared memories. Reminiscing about all the fun times you had before baby arrived can serve as a great escape from your current struggles.
- Yes, you can discuss the baby! If your BFF is anything like mine, she’ll likely want updates anyway — just steer clear of the more graphic details.
The location of your hangouts may shift (those cute clubbing outfits might not fit anymore), but your friendship can remain strong. Remember, you’ve walked in her shoes; she hasn’t walked in yours yet. That means you should empathize with her perspective and not expect her to be thrilled about every aspect of new motherhood.
In a recent conversation with my friend Sarah, we realized that the evolution of our friendship over the past twenty years has little to do with my journey through motherhood compared to her professional path. Somehow, we’ve managed to keep our connection intact, outside of the responsibilities of parenting. And I’ve come to appreciate her unique ability to laugh at the most unexpected stories — including those about poop.
In summary, nurturing your friendship post-baby requires effort and understanding. It’s crucial to strike a balance in conversations, keeping your friend engaged without overwhelming her with every detail of motherhood. The bond you share can continue to flourish, even amidst the chaos of parenting.
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Keyphrase: Maintaining Friendship After Baby
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