My four-year-old typically lies down after preschool for a nap while watching his favorite show, The Adventures of Benny the Bear. However, today, he decided to come to me after settling down and insisted on a change of scenery on the TV. The catch? He couldn’t tell me what he wanted to watch instead. He yelped, “I want something different, but I don’t know what!” Honestly, that’s just nonsensical.
KIDS CAN BE A PUZZLE.
What followed was a two-hour meltdown that left me feeling like I’d just been dumped by my high school crush, but with a lot more screaming involved. Eventually, my little bundle of chaos fell into a deep slumber on the couch, looking as peaceful as a tipsy toddler.
Meanwhile, I was left with a lingering frustration. To preserve my sanity, I put together a list of things that are, quite frankly, way easier than trying to reason with a four-year-old. Spoiler alert: It’s nearly impossible.
I’m counting down the days until he turns five. Hooray for a new era!
Here’s my list of 20 Things That Are Easier Than Trying to Reason With a 4-Year-Old:
- Shaving your legs while eight months pregnant.
- Snatching a golden egg from a fire-breathing dragon.
- Preparing a gourmet meal while carrying a 30-pound baby.
- Enduring menopause in the sweltering Florida sun.
- Figuring out the rules of Curling.
- Working in PR for Sea World.
- Conquering the universe.
- Being the President of the United States.
- Grocery shopping at Whole Foods on a tight budget.
- Flying an aircraft through the Bermuda Triangle.
- Understanding Common Core Math.
- Teaching in a public school.
- Living with a fictional character like Sheldon Cooper (knock, knock, knock… Leonard).
- Fact-checking for a late-night comedy show.
- Anal bleaching for Ron Jeremy.
- Trying to communicate with my nine-year-old while he’s engrossed in Minecraft.
- Declawing a polydactyl cat (they have six toes).
- Shopping at Target without racking up a $100 bill.
- Using Brillo pads for personal hygiene.
- Accompanying a music legend like Billy Joel on the piano.
In my past, I’ve successfully rationalized my way out of a speeding ticket and even engaged in a civilized conversation about politics at a bar. One day, the same little whirlwind currently causing me sleepless nights will likely come to me with concerns about curfews, dating, or a less-than-stellar grade in Chemistry. I’ll be there to listen, but I’ll definitely keep this list in the back of my mind. After all, payback is a real thing.
For more insights on parenting, check out Home Insemination Kit. And if you’re looking for an authoritative source, CDC’s pregnancy page offers valuable information.
To summarize, dealing with a four-year-old can feel like navigating through the most chaotic of storms. The list above humorously illustrates just how much easier certain tasks can be compared to reasoning with a young child. Sometimes you just have to laugh and roll with it!
Keyphrase: Easier than reasoning with a 4-year-old
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