Admitting I was wrong is not something I relish. In fact, it’s right up there with the agony of a painful bikini wax or the discomfort of a thorough check-up. But here it is: I was wrong. In the interest of honesty, a sincere acknowledgment of my past misconceptions is overdue. I owe a quiet apology to all the mothers I’ve unknowingly judged.
Before becoming a mother myself, I held a narrow view of what motherhood entailed. I envisioned mothers as selflessly sacrificing their ambitions for their families. I thought they resigned themselves to a life filled with laundry, dishes, and endless school activities. I imagined them as overly kind, so much so that they never claimed the moments they needed to recharge. I envisioned them as lacking motivation, trading in their professional attire for yoga pants, transitioning from structured jobs to the relentless demands of parenthood.
I assumed they were dull, limited to conversations about their kids’ latest milestones or amusing quirks. I thought they played second fiddle to their partners, neglecting their own aspirations. I believed they didn’t care about their appearance, surrendering their figures and opting for couch time with snacks instead of workouts. I also thought they had completely abandoned their romantic lives; I couldn’t fathom them being intimate at all.
I considered them condescending, convinced that those without children couldn’t possibly grasp the depths of exhaustion, illness, or early mornings. They seemed to insist that their lives held more significance than those of single individuals simply because they had chosen to become mothers.
Thankfully, I now realize how misguided I was. A mother is selfless yet understands the necessity of carving out time for herself. It may not happen on her terms, but she knows that to care for her family, she must first care for herself.
A mother’s dreams are now intertwined with her family’s wellbeing. She is driven, determined, and more relentless than ever. Settling for mediocrity is not an option because she strives for a brighter future for her children. She sets the standard.
A mother is kind but also firm enough to advocate for her own needs. Her love is fierce, and while it may sometimes be overwhelming, it’s a testament to her dedication.
Most importantly, a mother is not boring; she’s passionate. Her pride in her family is so profound that it sometimes overshadows everything else. Yet, there are moments she craves to discuss topics outside her family sphere.
A mother cares about her appearance because she knows her children are watching. Despite any changes in her body, she strives to love herself so that her children, especially daughters, can learn to do the same.
Yes, mothers have intimate lives too; it may be quieter and less frequent, but it’s filled with meaning and appreciation.
Mothers are compassionate and understanding. They easily connect with the weary stranger in the grocery aisle, feeling their pain because they know what it means to be stretched thin. With pieces of their hearts now walking around in human form, they empathize deeply with others.
I still find it challenging to admit when I’m wrong, but in this case, I absolutely was.
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