Now that I’ve settled into the charming suburbs, I decided to join my local MOMS Club International. With a modest annual fee of $25, I’m guaranteed invitations to picnics, story times, holiday festivities, and weekly play groups. It’s the only social gathering I know where casually nursing in the middle of a chat is completely acceptable—except maybe at certain bars.
The highlight of the MOMS Club for me is the weekly play groups, organized by birth year. My son is part of the 2013 crew. Typically, we see around 6 or 7 moms and just as many kids, which means we’re dealing with a lively crowd of at least a dozen people in one room. And not just any crowd—toddlers!
Until last Tuesday, I had successfully avoided hosting a play group. Despite my guilt, I couldn’t shake off the anxiety: What if someone got hurt? What if someone was allergic to our pet? What if nobody showed up? Or worse, what if everyone did? What if I lost my cool and shouted, “I can’t take it anymore!”?
Eventually, guilt got the best of me, and I signed up to host. And let me tell you, I survived to share my adventure. In fact, I’d say I nailed it. Minimal injuries occurred, and the carpet remained free of any unwanted surprises. So, for those moms contemplating the challenge, here’s my guide to Hosting a Play Group or Running a Fight Club in 10 Simple Steps:
- Stock Up on Snacks: Fill their mouths with store-bought treats. That way, no one will notice that your home resembles a hoarder’s paradise.
- Get Your Partner Involved: Have your husband help erase any signs of your child’s presence—scrub the oatmeal from the highchair and the milk from the floor. Don’t forget to clean up the more…creative messes.
- Brew Coffee: A fresh pot of coffee helps cover up any lingering odors from the Diaper Genie.
- Stash the Stuffed Animals: Clear out the toy chaos; they tend to multiply when left unattended.
- Post a Note on the Door: Something like, “Moms, join us in the basement. Ignore the barking dog; she’s just having a moment.” Or maybe, “Feel free to rob me—just kidding, come on in!”
- Greet Your Guests: Welcome them warmly and offer cookies. Consider a cheeky offer of whiskey in a mug—”just kidding,” but not really.
- Observe the Madness: Watch as the kids swarm the activity table, using xylophone hammers for everything from toys to the occasional sibling. It’s pure chaos—just sit back and enjoy the spectacle.
- Time to Wrap It Up: When the fun has peaked, it’s time to politely usher everyone out.
- Check on Your Child: Rescue your bewildered little one from a pile of blocks. As you tuck him in for a nap, you might wonder: Why is he sticky? And what is this in his hand?
- Clean Up: Gather all the toys, toss them in the backyard, and give them a good spray of Lysol. Maybe even set them ablaze—just to be safe.
Congratulations! If you’ve followed these steps, you’ve successfully hosted a play group and possibly a fight club. Enjoy the potential flu, pink eye, or flea invasion in the next couple of days.
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In summary, hosting a play group is a mix of chaos, laughter, and a little bit of mess, but it’s all part of the fun of parenting in the suburbs.
Keyphrase: Hosting a Play Group
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