I recently came across a bizarre story about individuals purchasing lollipops laced with diseases, which are then mailed to them with the hope of infecting their children with ailments like chickenpox, mumps, and measles. Yes, you read that right—diseased candy instead of vaccinations. One participant shared, “I just received a Pox Package in the mail with two lollipops, a wet rag, and some spit.” Absolutely delightful!
This practice is reminiscent of chickenpox parties, but with the added layer of uncertainty about the source and any additional germs that might be included. I really can’t wrap my head around this notion.
However, since there seems to be a surprising demand for such contraptions, I’d like to propose a unique offer involving my son, Max. Every winter, Max transforms into a walking germ factory. His nose produces a colorful array of mucus, and he’s perpetually coughing and sneezing. He’s the kid that sends other preschool parents into a frenzy, questioning why I don’t keep him home all winter. The cycle of illness kicks off in September and drags on through March, infecting the entire household in the process.
As a gesture of love and solidarity, I’m willing to send you a used tissue from my little germ machine. It’s practically a guarantee you’ll catch something nasty, and it’s almost like having him sneeze directly in your face. Who knows? You might even be lucky enough to snag pneumonia as a bonus! Consider this my gift to you. You’re welcome!
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Summary:
This humorous take on the unconventional practice of buying diseased lollipops highlights the absurdity of opting for illness over vaccinations. The author whimsically offers a used tissue from their perpetually sick child, Max, as a unique means to spread germs.
Keyphrase: buying sickness
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]