Dear Partner,
I adore you, truly I do. But let’s be honest — I’m exhausted. I’m so profoundly tired that even my tired feels tired. Can you grasp that? My fatigue is at a level that’s tough to articulate because it takes too much energy to string coherent thoughts together. Worn out. Depleted. Overwhelmed. Just plain tired.
Sometimes, I feel like you’re looking at me like I’m from another planet. Being a working mom is a unique experience, one that comes with an unshakeable guilt for not being at home with our kids every day like those “perfect” moms.
I fully recognize that stay-at-home moms do incredibly hard work, and I respect that completely. But honestly, I’m not built for that lifestyle. For me, my job feels like a getaway, even though I put in serious effort there too. I want our kids to see the value of hard work; I believe it will strengthen them. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I wrestle with the constant guilt of not being around enough. That guilt? It doesn’t ever really fade away.
You are not a bad husband or father; in fact, you rank among the finest. You’re my Prince Charming, my rock star, my everything. While you can’t magically fix my fatigue, you can help lighten my load in practical ways.
When you see me juggling work files, school bags, children’s art, and groceries, I’d love a little assistance. And can we talk about keeping track of your keys and wallet? It would really help reduce my stress.
I also want to share something else: I’m feeling quite lonely. Many of my friends are in the same boat, consumed by their careers, leaving little time for socializing. Those carefree days of spa outings and happy hours seem like a distant memory. When we finally do gather for a glass of wine and some laughs, it feels like a safe haven.
Loneliness is a tough adversary for me. I need a sense of community, so please encourage me to nurture my friendships. Push me to get out, to rediscover a bit of freedom. However, that means you need to step up while I’m out. I know you might want a detailed list of tasks to tackle in my absence, but I’m often too drained to compile one. I’ll certainly give it a shot, though.
Could you handle dinner, help with bath time, check homework, and lay out clothes based on the next day’s activities? (Please, no skirts on P.E. day.) Make sure they brush their teeth and read a bedtime story. Aim to get everything done on time, or else we all face the consequences of sleep deprivation and emotional chaos the next day.
Then, tackle the kitchen cleanup, feed the pets, pack school lunches, and switch out laundry to avoid that mildew smell that haunts our clothes. If it’s too late for that, please run another rinse cycle when the buzzer goes off. I can’t stand that annoying noise!
I admit, I struggle with control and I’m working on it. I’ll do my best to come home from my night out without nitpicking everything that happened while I was away. Who cares if dinner was a mishmash of mac and cheese, baked potatoes, and leftover spaghetti? It’s food! I appreciate all your effort, my dear.
In closing, I feel like I’m juggling too many balls and often feel like I’m coming up short. Every aspect of my life gets about 60% of my attention, and that’s a D grade. Wouldn’t you look worn out if you were living life with a D average?
I know this isn’t ideal, but I’ll keep pushing for an A. I might fall short again, but could you remind me that I’m doing okay? Your encouragement in my parenting, career, and contributions to our family means the world to me.
I look to you for some rest and support. I’m not just talking about intimacy (though that would be nice if the mood strikes). How about running a bubble bath for me occasionally or letting me have 20 minutes of quiet? It’s a fair exchange for those times you turn the bathroom into your personal sanctuary. So dim the lights, play some smooth tunes, and show me a little romance. Just don’t be upset if I drift off before the music gets to the good part!
I could chat about this all night, but it’s time for me to dive back into the chaos. I’ve got noses to wipe, emails to send, math homework to tackle, and a busy day ahead.
With love,
Your working wife