After the birth of our third child, Sarah began to notice dark spots appearing on her face, prompting her to start wearing makeup. Surprisingly, I found myself in an argument with her about it.
“You don’t need makeup,” I insisted. “You’ve never needed it. You’re naturally beautiful.”
As she stood in the bathroom applying foundation, I leaned against the bedroom door, perplexed. We had been married for nine years, and her decision to wear makeup struck me as more surprising than the fact that she had never worn any before. We were both in our early thirties and had already moved through three different states together, raising three kids along the way.
The first time I recall seeing Sarah wear makeup was during our wedding. A hint of blush and a touch of eyeliner enhanced her features, but it was her radiant smile that truly lit up the day. That sly grin, combined with her charming personality, was what made her beautiful in my eyes—much more than any makeup could achieve.
As she emerged from the bathroom, her hair pulled back and a small mirror in hand, she flashed a crooked smile. “It’s not about how you see me,” she said. “I know you think I’m beautiful.” Her expression seemed to say, “You don’t understand.”
I reflected on that. She took a moment of silence, clearly searching for the right words. “But people don’t see me the way you do. I don’t feel beautiful anymore, and these blemishes make me feel awful. I just don’t want others to notice them.”
We exchanged thoughts for a while—me insisting on her beauty while she expressed her feelings of being “old” and “ugly.” I reaffirmed how much I adored her smile and personality, but she quickly countered, “No, it’s my problem.” I was unsure whether she was frustrated or just conveying a deep truth.
Then came her poignant remark: “Your opinion isn’t the only one that matters.” It wasn’t said with anger or sadness, but rather a soft reminder of the reality many women face. She returned to the bathroom, and our conversation ended there.
Fast forward two years, and Sarah has worn makeup daily. Oddly enough, it hasn’t changed how I perceive her. Her smile remains just as endearing, her laugh still warms my heart, and her gracefulness hasn’t diminished. The only noticeable shift is in how she perceives herself.
Looking back at her words, I’ve come to realize that my view isn’t the only one that holds weight. Even after 11 years of marriage, our shared experiences, and everything life has thrown at us, her self-image matters immensely. I once thought that my love would be enough for her to feel beautiful, but it’s clear I was mistaken.
Makeup and beauty standards are largely products of societal expectations—fueled by advertising and media. And while I may wish she didn’t feel the need for makeup, I can’t deny that it boosts her confidence as a mother and wife.
At the end of the day, it’s Sarah’s choice whether to wear makeup or not, and I support her wholeheartedly. One morning, nearly two years after our initial discussion, I broached the subject again while she was getting ready. I reiterated that she will always be beautiful in my eyes, but I ultimately want her to feel that way herself. “I admit it’s a complex feeling for me, but if wearing makeup helps you feel beautiful, then I’m all for it.”
Sarah smiled back, not gloating or demanding acknowledgment; she simply leaned in and kissed me, whispering, “Thank you.”
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In summary, while perceptions of beauty can be subjective, it’s essential to recognize and respect individual feelings regarding self-image. Supporting our partners in their choices—whether they involve makeup or not—can help foster a healthier sense of self-worth.
Keyphrase: Understanding Beauty Beyond Makeup
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