Updated: Sep. 8, 2014
Originally Published: Sep. 7, 2011
Oh, the truth has a way of sneaking up on you! I had quite the wake-up call recently. My two daughters and I joined my parents for dinner at their home after a long drive from Austin. Let me tell you, it was a journey filled with its fair share of challenges.
We left Austin a bit too close to lunchtime, which meant a necessary pit stop. After grabbing lunch, my girls dozed off, just as I had hoped. Unfortunately, I began to feel drowsy too. A quick coffee break was supposed to perk me up, but it ended up waking my girls for good.
What followed was a delightful mix of music squabbles, light hitting, and a whole lot of annoying teasing that’s somehow worse than actual fights. Just as I was about to lose it, the traffic jam hit, accompanied by the familiar chorus of “There’s nothing to do!” and “I need to go to the bathroom!” right in the most inconvenient locations.
I found a somewhat shady Subway and hopped out to let my girls out of the car, only to discover the doors were locked. I snapped. “I can’t stand this STUPID car!” I yelled.
Before you judge, let me explain: some engineer thought it was a great idea to have the doors lock automatically when driving, presumably to prevent carjackings. But I live in Austin, not a high-crime area! And I’m the one who opens those doors multiple times a day. Thanks a lot, Mr. Engineer!
Back at the dinner table, just as we were about to dig in, my five-year-old Mia piped up, “Mommy, this is where the special part comes!” My seven-year-old, Emma, added, “Mommy, we are about to say a praaayyyyeeer!”
It’s amusing that they think I’m unaware of the prayer ritual, having spent the first nineteen years of my life with my parents. But my daughters don’t see that side of me; our family practices Unitarian Universalism now, which has its own traditions.
Mia then turned to Grandma and declared, “We don’t say prayers at home!” Grandma responded, “That’s perfectly alright. We enjoy saying a prayer before meals at our house.” I chimed in, “It’s good to be grateful for our food. It takes a lot of effort to get these meals on our table.”
We all joined together in saying the prayer. I then encouraged Mia to share our family tradition at dinner. She explained how we play “Good Thing, Bad Thing,” where each person shares one good and one bad aspect of their day. Listening attentively is key, she emphasized. Naturally, she decided Emma should go first.
Emma started, “Well, my bad thing is that during the drive, Mommy was REALLY grumpy.” I shot her a look. She wasn’t being cruel; she was just being honest.
She continued, “Mommy was yelling sometimes and using bad words…” As I glanced at my parents, they were chuckling. Emma went on, “She was stressed with work. She got mad because we said we were bored.” Before long, everyone was laughing, including me. My dad remarked, “I’m really learning a lot from this tradition!”
We continued sharing our “Good Thing – Bad Thing” stories around the table, and I cherished the sense of connection it brought us. After dinner, I spoke to my girls about two things: 1. They’re old enough to manage a three-hour car ride without constant needs, especially with all the books, toys, and music we had. 2. I apologized for not handling things better.
I may be sorry, but those car locks? Still infuriating!
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In summary, parenting is filled with ups and downs, and sometimes, we find ourselves in hilarious situations that remind us to embrace the chaos while also learning to do better.
Keyphrase: parenting reflections
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