I have a little confession to make—one that might raise a few eyebrows among stay-at-home moms in suburbia. Here it is: I don’t shop at Whole Foods. (Shock!) Honestly, my excuse isn’t all that compelling. The closest Whole Foods is a solid 15-minute drive farther than my go-to grocery store, and let’s face it—laziness has a way of winning.
Even if I decided to haul my three grumpy kids the extra distance to this organic utopia, I suspect they wouldn’t let me in. The truth is, my household is caught somewhere between striving for excellence and flirting with mediocrity. For instance:
- We drink organic milk, but it’s from cows. I know, the horror! Cow’s milk? How uncouth.
- I whip up homemade mac and cheese, but I rely on pre-shredded cheese. Is it any healthier than the chemically-induced powdered kind? Your guess is as good as mine.
- Fast food? We limit our kids to it just once or twice a year, but we do indulge in cheap, store-brand freezer pops and Star Wars fruit snacks.
- I only buy organic fruits and veggies when they’re on sale, though we do manage to consume some form of produce daily. (Yes, I count wine as mine. Don’t judge.)
- We steer clear of soda, but we can demolish a family-sized bag of Cheetos faster than you can say “yellow dye #6.”
- I don’t have chic reusable canvas grocery bags in muted tones. Instead, I let cashiers pack my groceries into old-fashioned plastic bags, which I recycle (see what I did there?) for wrapping up toddler messes. I’m pretty sure my kid’s stinky diapers cause more pollution than the plastic bags anyway. (I know, I know, San Francisco. I’m not welcome there either.)
- Cloth diapers? Not in this house. Nor did I use them for baby messes. My washing machine and I have a mutually beneficial relationship that I’m not willing to jeopardize.
- I rely heavily on baby wipes and paper towels, but I recycle like a pro. Every beer and wine bottle gets dutifully tossed into our overflowing glass recycling bin. We’re helping Mother Earth—sort of. (See points 6 and 5.)
- I don’t buy juice boxes, but a few times a year, I splurge on a giant jug of 100% apple juice if the kids are sick—store-brand, of course, because I’m also a bit thrifty, even when my child has a fever.
I know I could do better, and I must! Otherwise, the gates to chemical-free paradise—located a mere 15 minutes away—will remain closed to me. But truth be told, it’s exhausting trying to keep up with the latest food trends! Remember when butter was the villain, then suddenly became a health food? And how soy milk was trendy until almond milk knocked it off its perch, only to be replaced by coconut milk?
Come on, world! Give us overwhelmed moms a break! I’m doing my best (kinda), and at least my kids aren’t growing up surrounded by tobacco smoke and aerosol sprays like I did. That’s got to count for something, right? (Sure it does, I tell myself as I pour my daily dose of fruit… in a glass.)
For more tips on navigating motherhood, check out our other posts, like this one on fertility boosters for men and an excellent resource on intrauterine insemination that can help with pregnancy planning.
Summary
In a humorous take, Jennifer shares her reasons for not being Whole Foods material, highlighting the contradictions of a modern mom’s grocery choices. From organic milk to the occasional indulgence in Cheetos, she reflects on the challenges of maintaining a “perfect” image in a world of ever-changing dietary trends.
Keyphrase: Whole Foods shopping habits
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