The farmers’ market was bustling, and I was in a rush. With cash in hand, I only needed to pay for my dozen organic, grass-fed eggs. Yet, the woman in front of me kept piling on items to her order.
“I WANT IT!” her toddler shouted from her hip, pointing at a bunch of vibrant, multicolored carrots. With a grin reminiscent of a movie star, she handed the carrots to the teenage vendor. “MINE!” the little one insisted again, this time eyeing some pink fingerling potatoes.
“How can you say no?” she cooed, as the line behind her grew longer. “He only wants his veggies!” My annoyance grew as the toddler demanded cranberry beans next. Not only was I pressed for time, but her self-satisfied tone was grating.
You see, I once exuded that same air of confidence. I have two quirky sons, aged 6 and 8, who will eat just about anything. When that book about sneaking spinach into brownies hit the shelves, I was baffled; my kids devour spinach by the bushel—raw or cooked. They enjoy broccoli, beans, squash, and kale. One son insists on having beets hot, not cold, but I try not to hold that against him.
And yes, I’ve relished watching the surprise on others’ faces. At our neighborhood Italian spot, my six-year-old is dubbed “the kid who wants extra spinach.” During a vacation at a fancy Japanese restaurant, the young server was astounded when my boys ordered ikura sushi and tako—salmon eggs and octopus. “I didn’t eat that until I was an adult!” she exclaimed, shocked at their adventurous choices.
Sometimes, I wonder if it’s truly that bad out there. “You’re the first kid to order the veal medallions in fennel and lemon butter sauce,” a waitress remarked recently, and I could only respond with disbelief. It’s just meat and potatoes, after all.
For a while, I foolishly credited their culinary bravery to my parenting skills. “It’s my adventurous spirit!” I thought. “My relaxed approach! I serve veggies every night and never dish out chicken fingers or boxed mac and cheese!”
Oh, how naïve I was! If my kids’ eating habits mirrored mine, I’d have to admit to also picking my nose and using my t-shirt as a napkin.
So if it wasn’t my exemplary parenting, where did their adventurous palates come from? Perhaps it’s a unique blend of birth order and personalities: a laid-back older sibling, a younger brother eager to impress, and a dad with a taste for adventure. At our dinner table, being a picky eater simply isn’t cool.
Another theory is that their adventurous eating stems from my earlier prohibitions. As a nervous new mom, I strictly followed the guidelines. Baby’s first meal should be exactly one tablespoon of rice cereal mixed with breast milk; feed in 1/8 teaspoon increments while anxiously watching for any allergic reactions.
But I’ve since loosened up. We live in New York City, where sushi is a staple. Initially, we’d serve cooked dishes to our toddler—like teriyaki chicken or avocado maki. But soon, he noticed daddy’s chopsticks holding something more enticing: mackerel sashimi. And guess what? Daddy obliged.
Ah, the power of reverse psychology! It’s a tricky game unless you’re blissfully unaware you’re playing it. I even found myself sheepishly asking the pediatrician if toddlers can eat raw fish. In true Manhattan fashion, he shrugged and said his kids devoured sushi regularly.
Thanks to my parenting missteps, I’ve avoided mealtime wars. However, there are drawbacks. Kids who are adventurous eaters often turn their noses up at simple foods. After a year of sushi, my boys decided they wouldn’t touch cooked fish anymore. It was a nightmare because fish is healthy, and I’m no sushi chef. Watching my toddlers enjoy expensive sushi was adorable; having two growing boys scarf it down after soccer practice was another story entirely. And the snob factor? Imagine your three-year-old asking a weary waitress at a roadside diner, “What are the specials?”
Sometimes, it just isn’t cute.
But because I’ve had it easy at the dinner table, I can see certain advantages. If one of my kids claims he doesn’t like something, I keep quiet. It’s not so much restraint as it is indifference. If a child who eats rutabaga, salmon Provencal, and stuffed peppers tells me he doesn’t fancy the capers in the pasta sauce, color me unfazed.
I can’t offer a foolproof method for raising adventurous eaters, as I realize I don’t deserve the credit for my two. However, I can share the valuable insight that sometimes, not discussing vegetables is liberating.
So here’s my advice: the next time you find yourself in a mealtime standoff, let it slide. If you’ve ordered Chinese because your three-year-old typically enjoys chicken and broccoli but refuses to touch it tonight, close your eyes and imagine he usually dines like a Michelin-starred chef. Picture him demolishing fresh root veggies with spicy hummus, miso soup with tofu, and bean shoots in sesame oil just yesterday.
I urge you to take a break from caring. Hand over the bag of those strange fried noodles the restaurant tossed in, and let him snack on those. As for the chicken and broccoli? Just say, “More for me!” and pour yourself a glass of wine. Relish the peace. Who knows? Your silence might just tip the scales in your favor.
This article was originally published on Aug. 2, 2011.
In Summary
In summary, parenting is a journey filled with unexpected detours, especially when it comes to mealtime. While I may not have all the answers for raising adventurous eaters, embracing a relaxed attitude can lead to a more enjoyable dining experience. So, take a breath, let the little things go, and remember to enjoy your own meal.
Keyphrase: adventurous eaters
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