After 16 years of parenting, I find myself pondering how my sweet little boy morphed into a sullen, brooding teenager overnight. Seriously, how did that happen? I certainly don’t feel old enough for this! And who gave him permission to waltz into my life with all these new, complicated issues?
My friends and I often joke about how no one prepared us for the rollercoaster of emotions that come with teenagehood. When our kids were still in diapers, we had no inkling that we’d be repeating the same phrases day after day. Not a single soul warned us about these challenges.
Reflecting back, I remember cradling my tiny bundle of joy and thinking, “He smells so delightful!” In those early days, I was consumed with the practicalities of motherhood—like making sure he was fed and safe. Those worries now seem so naive. I realize now that the chance of something truly terrible happening was minuscule. Nowadays, I find myself longing for those simpler times.
As I gently rouse my teenager for school every morning, I often whisper a desperate plea: “Please let him be alive.” No one, especially the labor and delivery nurses, ever mentioned how much tougher things get during high school—for both the kid and the parent. It’s a unique pain that becomes your own, layered with guilt and anxiety.
At that one-year check-up, the pediatrician neglected to mention the conversations I’d eventually have with my teen—discussions about avoiding hard drugs. Yes, those awkward dialogues about what constitutes a “hard drug” will become a reality. You might even find yourself in disbelief, thinking it’s all a bizarre dream from a sitcom, but trust me, it’s not.
An acquaintance recently shared that her child had exhibited some troubling behavior. “That’s serial killer behavior,” she joked. While it was likely an exaggeration, haven’t we all, at one point, looked at our teens and thought, “Please don’t become a serial killer?” Or worse, after a particularly nasty fight, thought, “I hope that kid doesn’t take me out in my sleep.”
It’s comforting to remind myself that I was once the teenager causing my parents sleepless nights. I yelled, I argued, but never entertained thoughts of violence. That little piece of reassurance helps me sleep at night.
During those early years, no one ever warned me—no one warned any of us—that we’d have such wild thoughts as parents. The things I now find myself saying to my child are as absurd as my newfound obsession with eyebrow dye to hide the greys.
- Please, don’t harm yourself.
- Don’t become a serial killer.
- Stay away from drugs. Seriously, just avoid the “bad” ones.
- Please don’t sell drugs.
- And for heaven’s sake, don’t land in jail. This kid can’t even handle a 20-minute Wi-Fi outage—jail is out of the question!
If someone had forewarned me that raising a child would involve reliving my own teenage years, but in an even more intense way, I doubt anyone would choose parenthood. But here I am, grateful that my teen has stayed clear of cocaine.
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Summary
Raising a teenager is an uncharted territory filled with unexpected challenges and bizarre thoughts. From worrying about their choices to reliving your own teenage dramas, it’s a wild ride filled with humor and anxiety. Remember, you’re not alone in this struggle; it’s a universal experience for parents everywhere.
Keyphrase: Raising a teenager
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