I felt a mix of hurt and surprise at her candid remarks, yet I understood her perspective. From my vantage point, I observed a picturesque moment of father and daughter collaborating on algebra homework. It was a fleeting family memory, one I hoped to cherish from her middle school years, as she navigated the challenges of equations and early school mornings. I wanted to hold onto these moments of “tweendom” before they became mere memories.
However, all she could see was herself—bed-head, wearing old pajamas, and sitting too close to her dad. During the day, she aspired to maintain that cool, independent teen persona, wanting others to perceive her as someone who always looks put together. I completely understand.
Not long ago, I untagged myself from a Facebook photo that my friend had posted. He inquired about my decision, expressing that it captured cherished memories with friends from nearly three decades ago. But for me, it was a reminder of my 18-year-old self—unhappy and unhealthy inside. His tagging brought that past front and center, and I couldn’t hit delete fast enough.
I realize that while I view these moments as beautiful, she might perceive them differently. Just a few years back, I might have shared such photos without her consent, but now that she’s 12, everything has changed.
After much pleading for an Instagram account (which she claims took forever, but it was only months), I finally opened one for her on her 12th birthday. Despite my discomfort—given our parental controls are probably more secure than most—this seemed like a way for her to explore social media under our watchful eyes before things really escalate. I sometimes fantasize about moving my family to a cabin in the woods when considering Snapchat, cyberbullying, and other pitfalls of online life.
What I didn’t anticipate was the insight she would offer about my own social media habits.
1. Pause Before Posting
Remember, what you put online can linger indefinitely. Is this something you want to remember for years? How would a future employer or even your grandmother react? Having my daughter on social media has prompted me to think carefully about the implications of my posts.
2. It’s Not All About You
You might love a photo, but consider its impact on others. Always ask for permission before sharing. While my motherhood stories are mine, they also belong to my family. I now ensure to discuss posts with my kids, respecting their feelings and privacy.
3. Identify Your True Friends
My Facebook has expanded into a large network. In the past, I accepted friend requests from anyone with common connections, but now I question who these people are. As I manage my daughter’s Instagram followers, I’ve taken the opportunity to clean up my own accounts and create boundaries between personal and professional posts.
4. Value Your Passion, Not “Like Currency”
It’s easy to get swept up in the quest for likes. I’ve talked with my daughter about the importance of sharing what she loves on Instagram rather than what will garner the most attention. This has helped me recognize that my most meaningful posts are often those that reflect my genuine experiences.
5. Put Down the Phone
Is every moment worth capturing? When my daughter first joined Instagram, I noticed her glued to her phone. It made me reflect on my own behavior. Was I prioritizing social media over quality time with my kids? Social media can be fun, but the person right in front of me deserves my attention.
Parenting is a journey filled with learning experiences for both my daughter and me. As she navigates her new social media presence, I’ve found myself reflecting on my own online behavior. While I smile at her improving photography skills, I sometimes cringe at the unfamiliar faces in her “friend approval” list. Parenting blends wonder with concern, and as we wade into the world of social media, it’s a mix of excitement and apprehension.
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Summary
This article discusses the lessons learned from a tween’s perspective on social media, shedding light on responsible posting, mutual respect, the importance of true friendships, valuing authentic content over popularity, and the need to prioritize real-life connections over online distractions.
Keyphrase: social media lessons from tweens
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