When it comes to working out, people generally fall into four distinct groups:
- Fitness enthusiasts who thrive on exercise.
- Those who don’t particularly enjoy working out but do it for health benefits.
- Individuals who dislike exercising and have a plethora of excuses ready.
- Those who aren’t into fitness, don’t exercise, and feel completely fine about it.
I often wish I could be in the first two categories—or even the fourth, where I wouldn’t care at all. Unfortunately, I find myself lingering in the third category, where I do care, but just a little bit.
I genuinely want to work out. I dream about it, stare longingly at my collection of workout DVDs featuring perfectly sculpted bodies, and think, “I want that!” Then I promptly grab a cookie.
If you’re in the same boat and need some fresh excuses for why you haven’t worked out lately, here are 15 reasons you can borrow (or adapt) for your own use.
- Those gym machines look like they should come with a warning label. They remind me of medieval torture devices; all those levers, pulleys, and weights make me wary of any physical activity.
- I have zero workout attire that fits. After giving birth to two little ones in quick succession, my body has gone through a transformation, and shopping for new workout clothes seems impossible with toddlers in tow. Although Target is conveniently close…
- I’m completely drained. My kids have boundless energy, and they extract every ounce of vitality from me. I can barely muster the strength to lift a slice of cake, let alone do squats.
- Getting up earlier? Not happening! My baby monitor serves as my alarm clock, and it goes off before most people even dream. After countless wake-ups throughout the night, I’m not about to set it earlier.
- I ordered a new workout DVD, but it ended up sent to an old apartment. Clearly, that’s a cosmic sign that jazzercise and I are not meant to be.
- After a home workout, I look like I just emerged from a horror movie. Red-faced and frazzled, I can’t venture out in public for hours—who knows when I might need to dash for Starbucks?
- When I do jumping jacks, my belly jiggles, and I can’t help but laugh. It’s hard to focus on the workout when I’m giggling uncontrollably!
- My kids decided to use my deodorant as a craft supply. I can’t inflict my natural scent on innocent bystanders, and now I have to clean the mess they made.
- Showering is a luxury I can barely afford on a lazy day. If I don’t work out, I can at least postpone another hygiene battle. (See deodorant excuse.)
- I just ate! Isn’t there a rule against working out on a full stomach? I’m pretty sure it could lead to some kind of calamity.
- I need to eat first, then I’ll be too stuffed to work out, which leads to cleaning the kitchen, and—wait, where was I going with this?
- My hair is always in my face. I thought about getting a new hairstyle, but then I lost four hours to Pinterest.
- I think I might be coming down with something, so I really need to conserve energy for when I truly need it.
- I just recovered from being sick. I don’t want to push myself too hard and end up back in bed.
- I actually packed the kids up and drove to the gym, only to find no parking spots available. But there were spots at Target, which means I managed to buy those new workout clothes after all. So, success!
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In summary, while I have a long list of imaginative excuses for why I haven’t worked out, the truth is that we all struggle with motivation sometimes. It’s okay to have off days, and finding humor in the situation can sometimes be the best way to cope.
Keyphrase: excuses for not working out
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