A Parent’s Prayer for Potty Training in a Digital World

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Guide me, O Divine One, as I navigate the intricate waters of potty training without succumbing to the temptation of broadcasting every moment on the Internet. May my joy at seeing my child succeed in using the potty, or my exasperation over those inevitable accidents, remain private, untouched by the prying eyes of social media.

Grant me the gift of Restraint, dear God, so that my family and friends are spared the minutiae of potty training—those endless tales of wet pants, unplanned mishaps, potty schedules, and the number of stickers awarded for each triumph. Let my musings on these topics find refuge in the ear of a loving grandparent, for that is surely their purpose.

Impart upon me the wisdom to understand that the only individuals interested in my child’s choice of undergarments are those with ill intentions. Should any of these unscrupulous individuals find their way to my online musings, I pray that a fierce honey badger appears to defend my child’s dignity. After all, honey badgers don’t care—they just take action.

Be my guide, Lord, prompting me to pause before sharing a photo of my little one on the toilet, even if her expression is irresistibly cute. May I always reflect on whether I would want my own privacy invaded in such a way. The answer must be a resounding no—because, frankly, some folks have strange tendencies.

Teach me to respect the sanctity of bathroom time, a space that should remain private. The topic of bodily functions is neither charming nor appropriate for public consumption, regardless of how adorable a toddler’s bottom may appear compared to that of an adult.

Finally, help me see my child not just as my baby but as an individual with her own thoughts and feelings. I must recognize her right to privacy and autonomy, allowing her to grow without the weight of my expectations.

Hear my prayer, O Lord, and steer me away from foolishness. In your name, I humbly pray, now and forever.

Amen.

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In summary, this light-hearted prayer captures the challenges of potty training while reflecting on the importance of privacy and respect for our children’s experiences. As we navigate the digital landscape, it reminds us to cherish those intimate moments without oversharing.

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