Updated: Aug. 14, 2015
Originally Published: Jan. 19, 2011
“Mom, I asked Dad how babies are made, and he said you’d be mad if he told me,” my nine-year-old, Lily, declared with an air of seriousness the other night. I was taken aback and honestly didn’t know where to begin. (For the record, I would have traded anything to let him handle that one instead.)
“Well, I wouldn’t have been upset with Dad…” I began, not wanting to deflect the question. Sure, I had been dreading this moment—was that wrong?—but avoiding it wasn’t an option. My kids often said I was the “coolest mom ever” and that they could chat with me about anything. I could even say the words penis and vagina without cracking a smile. Or so I thought.
“What do you already know about how babies are made?” I asked, hoping to gauge her knowledge and perhaps clear up any misconceptions she had picked up from the playground.
“I know there’s a mommy seed and a daddy seed, but I’m not sure how they make a baby,” she said, looking genuinely puzzled. My heart sank for her.
I pulled her in for a hug. “Alright, here’s the deal: The mommy seed is inside her tummy, and the daddy seed is, well, inside him. When they decide they want a baby, the daddy puts his seed into the mommy, and that’s how the two parts combine to create a baby.”
To myself: Nailed it! But her face was still puzzled. “But how does the daddy seed GET to the mommy seed?”
“Oh, that.” Just say the word, you can do this. “The penis.”
Her expression shifted to one of horror. “What about the penis?”
“His seed comes out of his penis.”
“And goes where?”
To myself: You survived this once; she can handle it. Just say it and move on. “The daddy puts his penis inside the mommy’s vagina so the two seeds can come together.”
She looked like she might be sick, holding her stomach and cringing. “But… why?”
“Because that’s just how it works,” I explained. “It’s a bit of a strange system when you think about it, right?” She nodded vigorously, her head bobbing like a toy.
“How long does the penis stay in there?” she asked, a hint of concern in her eyes.
“Not very long,” I reassured her, sensing her anxiety, and because, well, that’s true.
“I don’t want to do that,” she replied, clutching her little tummy again.
“Then you don’t have to,” I told her.
Surprisingly, she didn’t ask if it was painful, nor did she seem to connect the dots that her dad and I had obviously done this at least twice. She also didn’t inquire what happened if the penis slipped into the vagina when the intent wasn’t to conceive.
So, overall, I considered that a triumph. Score one for Mom! If you’re looking for more insights into the world of parenting and related topics, check out our other blog post on couples’ fertility journeys. And for those curious about home insemination, you can find some great resources at Cleveland Clinic’s podcast, which covers a range of topics in pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, discussing how babies are made with kids can be awkward but necessary. By keeping the conversation open and honest, we empower our children with the knowledge they need. Remember, you can always turn to experts like Make a Mom for guidance on home insemination kits and fertility options.
Keyphrase: talking to kids about reproduction
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