As a Catholic married to another Catholic, we were required to attend a pre-marital counseling class, typically facilitated by a priest. While I understand the intention, it’s hard not to wonder how someone who is married to Christ can truly relate to the chaos of married life. Thankfully, our class was led by a fantastic deacon with over 30 years of marital wisdom. We shared laughs over coffee, naively believing that love would carry us effortlessly through it all. Fast forward nine months, and I was in the thick of motherhood with my first son, followed by a whirlwind of children. It quickly dawned on me that the deacon and his wife had navigated their journey without the challenges of raising kids.
If pre-marital counseling aims to prepare couples for the realities of marriage, here are some hurdles that should definitely be part of the curriculum. Master these, and you’ll be ready for anything life throws your way.
1. Installing Car Seats in Unfavorable Conditions
Sure, installing an infant car seat seems straightforward—until you’re trying to do it at a truck stop in sweltering July in Florida. Imagine dealing with a car-sick baby while also managing a potty-training toddler, all while racing against a ticking clock. Good luck cleaning up the mess and reinstalling the seat without waking the baby!
2. Managing Morning Sickness
Husbands, prepare to be the supportive partner during your wife’s pregnancy, especially when morning sickness kicks in. This isn’t just a phase; it can last for months. You’ll find yourself navigating the grocery store’s beverage aisle, desperately trying to find something she can tolerate, only to have it end up decorating the wall instead. Remember, when she’s at her worst, you need to be at your best—even if that means cleaning up after her mid-bathroom emergency.
3. Affection Amidst Exhaustion
Wives, consider the challenge of maintaining intimacy while spending years either pregnant or nursing. Juggling physical changes and sleep deprivation can make it tough to feel connected. Try to conjure fond feelings for your husband when you’re running on empty. And yes, you might need a glass of wine—or two—to help jog those memories of carefree nights.
4. Late-Night Toy Assembly
Husbands, embrace the reality of Christmas Eve when you realize it’s time to assemble toys for your children. If you start at 1 AM, don’t be surprised if you find yourself searching for tools you haven’t seen in ages, all while trying to decipher instructions in a foreign language. Your wife might be asleep, but the stakes are high for your kids’ holiday joy!
5. Embracing the Dinner Struggle
Wives, find gratitude in the little things—like an old chicken nugget scavenged from the floor, since dinner will likely consist of whatever snacks you can find while your husband enjoys a fancy meal elsewhere. His travels may be glamorous, but remember that your adventures involve late-night trips to the local superstore with three little ones in tow.
6. Navigating Teen Years
Finally, brace yourself for the teenage years. The challenges of raising small children seem trivial compared to the delightful turmoil of parenting almost-adults. If you and your spouse can survive this phase and still cherish your bond, you’ve conquered one of the toughest aspects of marriage.
In conclusion, pre-marital classes should prepare couples for the reality of life together, which includes joy, chaos, and everything in between. If you’re interested in additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, check out Make A Mom for helpful tips, and don’t forget to explore Women’s Health for insight on fertility and motherhood.
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