Kids sure have a way of growing up in the blink of an eye, don’t they? On those long days when you find yourself asking, “When will this little one move out and start working?” it can feel like they’ll be kids forever. Just last night, as we watched little Emma take her first steps, my partner Jake asked, “If scientists discovered a way to freeze time, would you want to have more kids?” After a hearty laugh, I responded with a firm “No way.” Surprisingly, that answer came easily. I mean, nine months of discomfort followed by excruciating pain and then… the memorable moment when the doctor says, “I can’t figure out where all this blood is coming from” with a spotlight shining on your most vulnerable areas is enough to convince anyone.
But while the finality of it all makes me a bit wistful, I remind myself that there are plenty of baby-related experiences I won’t have to face again, and that’s a relief. Here are ten baby firsts I’m more than happy to skip:
- First time your baby spits up so forcefully that everyone ends up in the bathtub—clothes and all.
- Discovering a dried-up, crunchy umbilical cord stump lurking in the footie pajamas.
- Making your inaugural call to Poison Control.
- Being laughed at by the Poison Control operator when you report, “My baby just ate diaper cream.”
- The first outing sans diaper bag, leading to an impromptu sock-and-tape diaper in a public restroom—while avoiding any surfaces.
- The moment your nursing infant yanks out your hoop earring in one swift motion.
- The unforgettable diaper blowout that necessitates a complete sanitization of the pack-n-play.
- Realizing too late that two conspicuous wet spots have adorned your shirt for hours while you’ve been out.
- Enduring a sleepless night due to your baby crying for seven hours straight, only to have them fall asleep right before your alarm goes off.
- The urgent need for baby-proofing after you find your little one happily covered in baby powder from head to toe.
See? I’m feeling less sentimental already. Perhaps I should retitle this to “10 Baby Firsts That I’m Grateful I Probably Won’t Experience Again,” but with Emma still around, it’s not too late for her to try some diaper cream.
For those considering family planning, check out our other blog post about the at-home insemination kit to keep you engaged, as well as the BabyMaker for more insights. If you’re looking for excellent resources on pregnancy, visit Johns Hopkins Fertility Center for helpful information.
In summary, while the journey of parenthood is filled with beautiful moments, some experiences are best left behind. Embrace the laughter and the chaos, and cherish the memories without the mess.
Keyphrase: baby milestones to skip
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