It’s official—my pre-teen kids now consider me about as cool as a human vending machine. I always knew this day would come; I had heard the tales from other parents, but I secretly hoped I might somehow escape this fate. Spoiler alert: I didn’t. My kids are genuinely embarrassed of me.
Gone are the days when my little ones clung to me, the only one who could calm their worries. Nowadays, a quick text from a friend does the trick. When I must step foot into their school—a real tragedy in their eyes—I receive a list of strict instructions:
- Do not engage with anyone.
- Avoid making eye contact.
- Don’t talk to my teacher.
- No hugs or kisses allowed.
- Absolutely do not introduce yourself to my classmates.
- Don’t bring my lunch late.
- Avoid chatting with my friends.
- No conversations with other parents.
Ah, how the tables have turned! It used to be:
- Can you volunteer in my class daily?
- Can you bring treats for everyone?
- Can you help lead math group?
- Can you chaperone field trips?
- Can you bring our new kittens for show-and-tell?
- Can you walk me to class for hugs?
- Can you have lunch with me?
Oh, the good ol’ days when I was the star of their world! I have to admit, I’ve played my part in this “uncool” narrative. I’m the mom who waves enthusiastically from the car yelling, “I love you!” as they hop out for school. I blast Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” a bit too loudly while picking them up. I’m the one who shows up unannounced, waving from the classroom window, laughing too loudly, and sporting old yoga pants and a messy ponytail.
The moment I began to notice the eye rolls and hushed mutterings was a wake-up call. My son even pretended he didn’t know me once, leaving his teacher to ask who I was! My conversation topics in public settings can sometimes raise eyebrows. For instance, while waiting in line at school orientation, I casually mentioned that the salon lady suggested I should start waxing my arm hair. I could see my daughter’s discomfort as she subtly moved away from me. “Mom, can we NOT discuss your arm hair at school?” Oops.
I get it; their embarrassment is justified. But isn’t it a mom’s right to expect wild hugs and kisses, regardless of age? Apparently not. What a letdown.
Still, I cling to hope that this phase will pass and they will regain their senses one day. It sounds good, anyway. Just to reassure you all, I did catch a glimpse of redemption today. My son kissed me on the cheek to say goodbye right in front of school! And my daughter even hugged me as she hopped out of the car! Maybe there’s still hope for this mom with the questionable arm hair after all.
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Summary:
Parenting can take unexpected turns, especially when your kids start to find you uncool. From being the beloved mom to the one they avoid at school, it’s a rollercoaster ride of emotions. However, moments of affection still shine through, reminding us that there’s always hope for reconnection.
Keyphrase: my kids are embarrassed of me
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]