Today is one of those rare, feel-good days where I actually managed to put on clean pants, dab on some makeup, and pull my hair back. I even remember to brush my teeth, achieving that delightful foamy sensation before I dash off to stop my little one from munching on the laptop cords again.
The diaper bag is fully stocked, and my rolls are comfortably tucked into a Bella Band (yes, I still wear one—judge if you must). My house is reasonably tidy, just enough for a satisfying “Oh! I already did the dishes” moment when we return home.
I’m feeling prepared. We’re ready to go.
Story Time at the Library
It’s story time at the library. As we head out, I walk with confidence, feeling clean and fresh—definitely a win for the day. My child is dressed neatly (far better than I am, which has become a common theme lately).
I settle down in the library’s circle next to another mom who looks like me—casual, slightly tired, but relieved to have escaped the house without a spit-up disaster. We exchange weary but happy smiles as our little ones size each other up. Her child is impeccably dressed too. Maybe it’s the new outfits they receive every three months or the two guilt-free naps they get daily.
We clap, sign, and roll through the half-hour session, reading books and repeating songs. I’m chatting with this new mom, enjoying the moment of connection. I feel content.
Encountering the Ideal Mom
And then I see her.
The Ideal Mom.
She’s flawlessly dressed in a crisp blouse and a pristine WHITE skirt, effortlessly executing the motions while her golden-haired child waves along. Her hair is perfectly styled—curled and bouncing around her face. Her child gazes up at her with adoration as my little one makes a beeline for the nearest wall plug.
Seated next to her equally stunning friends, she radiates Ultra Motherhood. There’s not an ounce of fat on her—maybe she’s a nanny? But I know that’s not the case. Her legs are toned and sun-kissed, her smile dazzling, and every word she speaks earns nods from the other moms. Meanwhile, I’m in jeans, trying to hide my pale legs (which could be mistaken for a corpse’s). That ring on her finger practically blinds me from across the room.
A wave of jealousy washes over me, and I suddenly feel inadequate—not just as a mother, but as a person. I fight the urge to vomit a little in my mouth, but then I remember that would only add to my problems.
Reflections on Inadequacy
As we leave, she places her laughing child into a $1,500 stroller, while mine throws herself backward against me in a fit. We stroll down the sidewalk, and I can’t help but marvel at the pristine whiteness of that skirt. There’s no way I’d make it out the door without stains, yet she manages to keep it spotless for story time and back. Also, that skirt wouldn’t even fit over my thigh.
I find myself trailing behind her as we head to our cars, listening to her chat with friends about a new BMW, expanding their home for an au pair, and her husband completing his residency at the local hospital. Meanwhile, I remember that we’re out of cat food and need to investigate the mysterious odor emanating from the backseat of my car. Pretty sure it’s a diaper. Just not sure where it is or how long it’s been festering.
Feeling increasingly insecure, frumpy, and disgruntled, I finally reach my car to buckle my child in. As I strap her into her seat, she looks up at me with those big eyes. Then, she smiles and pats my hand.
Tears well in my eyes as I realize how ridiculous I’ve been—judgmental, even—almost harboring resentment towards someone purely based on their life status.
Finding Self-Acceptance
While it may be tempting to conclude with, “She’s probably drowning in debt and miserable,” that wouldn’t be fair. She could be a wealthy, radiant Mother Teresa for all I know.
The truth is, it’s not about her; it’s about me. I need to be secure in my identity as a mother, a woman, and a human being. To my daughter, I am the perfect mother. If I can’t recognize that and accept it, how can I expect her to do the same one day? I want to instill in her the belief that she’s amazing, beautiful, and special.
And while I’d love to pass down the secret of wearing a white skirt all day while being a mom, that might be setting the bar a tad too high.
Further Reading
If you’re curious about other parenting insights, check out this post about at-home insemination kits or learn more about pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This article captures a relatable mother’s journey through a day filled with self-reflection, envy, and ultimately, self-acceptance. It touches upon the pressures of motherhood, comparing oneself to others, and recognizing one’s worth, all while emphasizing the love between a mother and her child.
Keyphrase: Ideal Motherhood
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