“Life can be tough sometimes, right?” my friend texted me last week.
“Absolutely,” I replied.
We were trying to coordinate a meet-up for the upcoming weekend, but our children’s activities, travel plans, and other commitments were getting in the way. I miss my friend, and I know she misses me, too. It’s disappointing when life gets in the way of connection.
This morning, I woke to discover a leaking sink in the bathroom. The shower door had come off its hinges, and one of my dogs had decided to make a mess of Jackson’s piano book. The other pup (or possibly the same one?) had an unfortunate accident all over the living room, dining room, kitchen, and family room. Our morning was chaotic, consisting of a rushed school drop-off and hasty goodbyes. I felt like I was on the brink of tears all day for reasons that elude me. Some days are just hard.
“Parenting is no easy feat,” a friend messaged me this afternoon. “I feel like I’ve jumped off a parenting cliff without a safety net or a clue about what to do next.”
“I can relate to that feeling most days,” I texted back.
The questions swirl constantly. Are they getting enough rest? Are we reading together enough? How old is too old for a security blanket and thumb-sucking? Should I allow my son to play football? Do they need more extracurricular activities, or should we cut back? With every new stage, I feel like I’m taking another leap of faith, and most days, I’m convinced I’m falling short. Parenting can be really challenging.
Friendships are tricky. Relationships demand effort. Work can be stressful. Life itself can be downright hard. Sometimes, it feels like everything is a struggle.
I know that simply acknowledging life’s difficulties can feel like walking into murky waters. It’s not always easy to admit that things can be tough. We often prefer to reflect on struggles once we’ve emerged from them, talking about the past when we’ve found our footing again. We share stories of hardship only after we’ve managed to overcome them. We sing praises of “Hallelujah!” because we were once lost, but now—thankfully—we are found.
But what about when we’re still in the thick of it? What about when the weight of our burdens feels heavy, and we’re still wandering in the dark? Where are the stories that say, “You’re not alone?”
When I find myself in a downward spiral of uncertainty, doubt, and frustration, I often convince myself of the biggest lie: “It’s just you. You’re all alone. No one else could possibly understand.”
Many of life’s most significant experiences are undeniably hard. Parenting is incredibly challenging. Keeping a marriage strong can feel like navigating a minefield, especially while raising young children. Maintaining friendships often becomes cumbersome and inconvenient, especially when life gets busy. Simply being an adult can feel brutally overwhelming at times.
Some of life’s most beautiful moments—parenting, marriage, friendship—have a raw and gritty side. Pretending otherwise does no one any favors. Embracing the challenging aspects doesn’t diminish their value or beauty. Acknowledging that life can be difficult doesn’t make it any less precious.
Every single day, I am reminded of how rich and beautiful life is, even on the tough days. I express gratitude for my children, even when parenting feels like an uphill battle. I appreciate my husband, extended family, and friends, despite the obstacles that often arise from our busy lives and the fact that our expressions of love sometimes get lost in translation.
Tonight, my friend and I texted about trying to find a time to meet, acknowledging that living about 1,000 miles apart, combined with our hectic schedules, makes it challenging. We both agreed that yes, life can be very hard at times. We don’t always want to admit it when we’re in the midst of the storm. We even discussed planning a girls’ weekend in the near future.
“Noodle salad!” I texted back, referencing a line from As Good as It Gets. In the film, Jack Nicholson’s character reflects, “Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But for many, that’s their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you’re that pissed that so many others had it good.”
We had first watched that movie nearly two decades ago while spending a weekend at my grandparents’ lake house, surrounded by boats, friends, and yes, noodle salad.
The reality is that sometimes life is hard. Sometimes everything feels like an uphill battle. Other times, it’s filled with sunshine and laughter. Often, it’s a mix of both. Most things of value require effort and can be both beautiful and challenging.
Perhaps the key lies in finding moments of joy even when we feel like we’re leaping into the unknown. Maybe it’s about enjoying those “noodle salad” moments, even if they come with overcooked noodles and complaints from the kids who’d rather have pizza. By “noodle salad,” I mean indulging in little pleasures—like cookie dough and a glass of wine—while sharing the reality that sometimes life is just so hard.
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Summary
Life can be overwhelmingly tough, especially when it comes to parenting, relationships, and maintaining connections with friends. Acknowledging the struggles we face is crucial, yet society often prefers to discuss hardships from a resolved perspective. Embracing both the beautiful and challenging aspects of life can lead to greater understanding and connection. Finding joy in small moments, even during tough times, can make all the difference.
Keyphrase: Life is hard sometimes
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