The Look: A Parent’s Perspective on Milestones

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Recently, I experienced “the look” again after quite some time, and it sent chills down my spine. It took me back to when our children were young, and those looks were a common occurrence. If you’re a parent, you know exactly the look I’m referring to. It’s that sideways glance your kids shoot your way when they accomplish something significant, those priceless moments when they sneak peeks to ensure you’re watching from the audience. This is the look that has led to countless soccer goals scored while young players peek at the stands for their mom or dad. It’s the look that results in little leaguers getting “doubled off” because they forget to stay on base while searching for approval from their parents. It’s the look they give after a school play, piano recital, or a perfectly executed pirouette. When you receive this look, it’s crucial to be looking back; otherwise, your child may panic, fearing you’ve missed the very reason they sought your gaze. Kids know there are no instant replays.

This past spring, we attended a kindergarten “graduation” ceremony for a dear friend’s grandson, and the looks were abundant. Just like every other adorably dressed mini-graduate, our friend’s grandson cast his look to his parents while in line for his diploma, again when accepting it from his teacher (who he forgot to shake hands with because he was too busy focusing on them), and once more when he returned to his seat. Though we only knew this particular graduate, we could easily spot the proud parents of each classmate by following their children’s laser-focused looks.

In our sports-obsessed household, we anticipated many of these looks during games and matches. We always chose a consistent spot in the bleachers to minimize the distraction of searching for us. As our kids grew, they attempted to suppress these looks, aiming to appear cool and indifferent to the cheers of their family fans, but we always caught them sneaking glances. Quick checks from the corners of their eyes while dribbling a basketball or striding across the tennis court after serving an ace. For certain looks, I developed a signature response that my kids came to expect: I would tap my chest with my right fist a couple of times, signifying… well, I’m not entirely sure what. Maybe it was an expression of heartfelt pride in their accomplishments, perhaps gratitude for having healthy and happy kids, or even a sign of relief that we could find a silver lining in the car ride home after a tough loss. Not every minor achievement earned a chest tap; only game-winning shots and game-changing hits did. Sometimes, I would add flair by pointing directly at my young star, as if to say, “This tap is just for you.”

Now that our kids are adults and living independently, the look is a rare gift. A couple of years ago, when our daughter was leaving for graduate school, she turned to wave before going through airport security and gave us the look. I felt a lump in my throat and instinctively tapped my chest. When our eldest son took the oath for the New York State Bar, he too gave us the look, stirring those same emotions within me. At his wedding, however, he saved the look for his bride, and we graciously forgave him.

Earlier this summer, as our youngest son marched in with his classmates to receive his college diploma, he turned to us and gave us the look. This one felt prolonged, a culmination of all the smaller milestones we had missed that led to this significant moment. As our eyes met, he raised his hands in a celebratory gesture while mouthing “thank you.” I gently tapped my chest and pointed straight at him.

These moments serve as a poignant reminder of the connection we share with our children, and how important it is to acknowledge their achievements, no matter how small they may seem. If you’re interested in exploring other avenues for parenthood, consider checking out resources like this at-home insemination kit or this intracervical insemination syringe kit from experts in the field. Additionally, the Fertility Center at Johns Hopkins is an excellent resource for those exploring pregnancy options.

Summary

In the journey of parenthood, “the look” from your child can be one of the most meaningful expressions of connection and pride. Whether during sports, performances, or significant milestones, these moments remind us to cherish the achievements of our kids, no matter how big or small. As they grow, the looks may become less frequent, but their impact remains profound.

Keyphrase: the look from your child
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